Rideshares, Wrecks, and Sex:
Confessions of a Convicted Uber Driver
by Joe F. N. Schmo
Genre: Comedic Adventure
An Uber driver is expected to be courteous and attentive, both to their
passengers and to those on the road. They are not expected to accept
an invitation to a swinger party, flee the scene of a fatal accident,
nor are they expected to be a convicted felon on probation.
Unfortunately,
this Joe Schmo is not your everyday Uber driver.
As most Uber drivers do, Joe began sharing rides with the audacious hope
to one day escape the legal and financial road blocks stalling his
merger onto the freeway of creative success. But when a typical shift
U-turns into a series of detours involving Android ordered lovers,
herpes ridden riders, sexy sorority sisters, a botched bachelor
party, and blundering bank robbers, he arrives (at gunpoint) miles
from his desired destination.
“Rideshares, Wrecks, and Sex: Confessions of a Convicted Uber Driver” is a
narrative nonfiction based upon actual events that transpired over
the year Joe covertly drove for Uber while on intensive probation. He
confesses outlandish details in a highlight reel of wrecks (both car
and train) and sex, effectively answering the question every Uber
rider has begged to know from their driver: “What’s your
craziest story?”
Joe F. N. Schmo, a 30-something latent child prodigy, is on a quest to
obtain free Rockstar for life and plans to use it to obtain his Ph.D
in Upsetting the Status Quo. Once earned, he hopes to use his written
works as a vehicle to turn underinformed perceptions on their thick
skulls (among other abhorrently selfish goals).
After completing over 1,000 rideshares for Uber while on intensive
probation, Joe has encountered it all (save for alien abductions and
spontaneous combustion) and is über qualified to write a
confessional with such a titilating title.
Prior to his salacious adventures, Joe earned his B.A. in Film and Media
Production where he wrote, produced, directed, and edited several
short films. This experience sculpted him into the kind of asshole
who quotes from random films and includes obscure pop culture
references into his written works.
Joe’s masterpiece, “Rideshares, Wrecks, and Sex: Confessions of a
Convicted Uber Driver” is a culmination of his of film
background, sharing rides with Uber, and myriad adverse experiences.
It was NOT written to please those stiff, literary types, but to
appeal to the haughty neophytes who attest e-books are superior to
the printed page.
Currently, Joe is working on his encore, “Jackpot,” which, much like
“Rideshares, Wrecks, and Sex, was written with the intention to
be adapted into a feature film (as it is his narcissistic goal to
direct his own film adaptations).
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