When Marco struts into Gigi’s grill, Alex wonders if she has found the one. When he takes the seat next to her and strikes up a conversation, She is immediately aroused by the heat of his animal magnetism. There is something she sees in his vulnerable, piercing green eyes that touches her heart. She realizes that she wants this handsome man to be more than just her bedmate. She wants him to be her soulmate.
Marco was instantly smitten the moment he fixed his eyes on Alex. There was something about her warm, sympathetic gaze that filled him with hope. Maybe he had a chance to overcome the bitterness and despair that had blighted his life. Perhaps finally some measure of happiness is within his grasp.
The love between them quickly blossoms, but there is a dark cloud on the horizon. For no reason Marco can see, Alex suddenly becomes sullen and withdrawn. He worries that she is slipping away from him. The idea of losing her affection and being forced to retreat back into the cold, black, pit of despair, is more than he can stand. He only knows one way to deal with the pain he is feeling.
Can their love survive the turmoil and grow into something good once more?
I grew up on the northwest side of Chicago. I attended Wells High School, then North Park College, where I graduated with a BA degree, my major in psychology. Currently, I live in River Grove, a small suburb just outside of Chicago. My days are spent managing a very busy dental office in Chicago’s Gold Coast area. My nights are mostly quiet ones, spent in the company of my two rescue cats, Zilly and H.K. and my dog Sammy, with an occasional night out with friends.
“I asked you to marry me because I love you. Why won’t you believe that? I have never wanted anyone else. That is something you fabricated all on your own.” The smooth even inflection of his words told me that he was speaking in earnest. “You’re fucked up but I can fix you. Let me in your heart.” The breeze of his breath touched my cheek as he leaned in closer. “Let me in your head.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Fix me? Was he going to glue the broken pieces of my heart back together? Try to stitch the holes in my shredded soul? Was that what I was to him? A broken doll that needed mending?
The bitter memory of him and Nurse Betty together fueled my voice. “If I’m fucked up Marco it’s your fault.” He cast his eyes away like I had hit a nerve.
“You need to understand that I was very angry at you. I was becoming more and more afraid that someday you would tire of me and shove me in your special room.” His words were hesitant. “Convince yourself that I never existed, turn me into an invisible, nonessential person.”
He looked broken as if his spirit had been snatched out of his body. I wanted to take him into my arms, to assure him that his love was embedded so deeply into my soul that he would never be a diluted memory. My body began to sway as he gently stroked my hair.
“I didn’t know how to fight it, that impenetrable glitch inside your head. The invisible monster that was stealing you away from me. I felt so helpless.” He hung his head as if he were exhausted and no longer had the strength to fight.
I felt wretched. I had done this to him. Stripped him of his virility. Taken away his zest for life. I asked myself how I could have been so oblivious and disconnected.
I had no idea that Marco was in silent competition with my special room and that he was at war with an enemy he couldn’t see, or that he was fighting a battle he felt he was losing.
I wondered how it was possible for his feelings of weakness and helplessness to have had escaped me, that all I had been able to see was the way that he had distanced himself from me and the disinterest he had shown whenever I expressed my anger or jealousy.
Other interviews with Suzanne Smith