I’ll be the first one to tell you I have a crazy family. I love them all but sometimes we just don’t get along. It’s nothing big like the Hatfields and McCoys. You can’t have strong people get together and not have conflict.
When my mother made me – her youngest daughter – the executor of her estate and her financial power of attorney (back up on medical), I figured it would be a struggle with my siblings.
Mom’s health took a dive just before Thanksgiving. I’m not sure what I expected but I didn’t expect all of us to be on the same page. We text, email, and finally we’ve set up a Google doc to keep everyone up-to-date on what’s going on in mom’s life.
Starting in the hospital, we would make sure one of us was with mom regularly. We couldn’t cover her room 24 / 7 but we did get someone there particularly when the doctors came through. When they wanted to do a risky procedure, we got a call from the sibling at the hospital and had a quick consult. When they pressured us to do said procedure on subsequent days, we refused and gave each other support.
Now as she’s been at the nursing home getting antibiotic, we’ve come together to discuss without arguing options and possibilities for the best care. I’m point person – I’m handling the bills, the communications with the nursing home. However, one sister is listening to my concerns and stress. Others are handling mom’s appointments. A few of us are looking at facilities. It’s been a collaborative effort in handling all the appointments, problems, paperwork, and stress.
It’s a pleasant surprise to find we can all pull together and come to a consensus on the steps and actions we need to take. We’re lucky we are all on the same page – it really doesn’t happen often.
To all my sisters and my brother, thank you. This stressful process could be so much worse. It isn’t because we are setting aside our own differences and focusing on what is best for mom.