My Son’s Wife: The Beginning
Recently I joined a group on Facebook. I’m not a huge fan of groups because mostly people don’t do anything in them. It’s tedious and I have too much to do for tedious. This group has proved to be less than annoying. I’ve met writers who are willing to have an intelligent conversation without the normal crap.
I’ve been in the group a few weeks and have made a few good connections. It’s been fun to talk writing without people getting that glassed over look non-writers get.
Then last night hit. I posted a short, simple and polite response to a comment. The crazies must have been out because this woman badgered me with eight or ten posts telling me how wrong everything I said was. She was rude and arrogant about it. I tried the whole – we’ll have to agree to disagree – now this wasn’t the OP (which I’ve learned means original poster) it was one of the other respondents. But the battery continued. I stopped responding.
Responding to a post about grammar, I thought twice about it at the time but thought – okay it can’t be horrible. I was wrong. I tried answering the person to the best of my knowledge even going so far as to look up in books and other sources how to do what she asked. My answer was contrary to what the majority was saying.
I’m okay with people disagreeing with me. I’m okay with people having different opinions. I’m not okay with bullying, rude, obnoxious people who think they KNOW everything. As I got blasted, I looked back and saw others disagreeing and getting blasted.
Now I’m a determined person. Most of the time I let crap like this go away – these are anonymous people who have their opinion. I don’t have to agree with them. But EVERY post which didn’t agree with the majority people were blasted. This doesn’t encourage discussion or education. It only stifles those who were expressing themselves.
I erased more than I said – I can be a little bitchy and sarcastic on occasion. I tried to keep things reasonable and polite. People through their credentials at me. I said I wasn’t having a credentials fight. I ended up changing that – I finally caved – you all my have been teachers (this does not guarantee you know best) – but I have two college degrees, have published over 100 products – books, crochet patterns and so on.
One woman asked me if – She said. – was a complete sentence. My answer – yes. She is a pronoun/subject and said is a verb/predicate. It is a complete simple sentence. This was a downright grammar war. I’ve always said grammar is flexible and it is. These people were not. I tried blocking the notifications but it wouldn’t let me. I pointed out the bullying behavior and people got snottier.
I posted samples and books to support my point all to get me more slaps and mean rude and unjustified comments. All this drama over how to punctuate dialog. Look, educate, and be open to alternatives.
Violence is not the solution
When your daughter calls to say “I’m okay”, there is always a moment of oh shit, what happened. My oldest daughter called me yesterday to give me a heads up her place of work was going to be in the news. She was working and in the parking lot a lot of drama took place. Apparently two people had a confrontation resulting in one of them shooting the other.
Apparently the two people were arguing over a parking spot. My daughter said her car might be in some of the footage. I’m glad it was her car and not her. She lives in a large metropolitan area, crime is expected.
At work yesterday I got notified a robbery suspect was at large in the small town I work in. This is not common. Yes, there is crime but not generally armed robbery. Are we safer in the small town? I doubt it. Shit happens when and where it happens.
Fortunately for my family, no one was involved any more than peripherally. The robbery notice I got, I disregarded as I wasn’t near the location and doubted I’d see the suspect from my building. My daughter’s incident took my breath away because there’s the instinct to protect. However, after a bit of discussion and joking about letting people have whatever parking spot they want, it had little affect on me. We were fortunate.
The “give me what I want no matter what” attitude is beyond my comprehension. Perhaps because I grew up on a farm where we worked hard and appreciated the benefits we managed to eke out, I find this attitude a horrible symptom in our society. I’m not going to say it’s a generation or a young person’s attitude. I certainly know older people who have this attitude. I find it shallow and counter productive to a healthy society.
To me, it doesn’t matter what your beliefs are or what you look like or your abilities. What matters is are you a productive member of society? Are you working to the best of your ability to take care of yourself? If you are, we’re good do what you want with your life. If you aren’t, get a clue. You aren’t some anointed God or Goddess who has power and control over lesser beings. There are no lesser beings. We’re all interconnected and need to rely on each other to make it through.
Is a parking spot worth a man’s life? If he dies, are you willing to live with the fact you took a life? I’ve got a temper and I know it’s not easy but walk away. Walk away, call the police, and don’t do something you can’t take back.