In My Head

Waking up this morning, I wanted to just stay laying in the dark and thinking.  I woke up thinking about all sorts of things – scenes, story lines, plots, characters, motivation.  I also was thinking about other things too.

The last thing I wanted to do was get up and face a day of reality.  However, I had a desk full of work that needed taking care of.  In my head is never a good place to be when I’m trying to get practical things done.  My mind just isn’t on what I’m working on.  It is looking inward, thinking, dreaming, thinking mostly about everything.

Being a responsible adult, I did get up.  I went through my normal morning routine and grumbled about it.  I drove to work – this is normally my transition time.  It’s where I stop thinking and focus on getting ready for work.  Not this morning.  I was completely in my head with my thoughts as I parked the car at work.  Even in the elevator, I was in my head.

The shift to reality was tough this morning.  I felt jarred and disrupted.  The nice thing about my work is my people there understand me.  Now whether by design or just out of habit, I had two co-workers chat with me this morning and this helped me shift my focus from being in my head to being at work.

I was still in my head a lot today but I got through work.  When I finally got some down time, some me time, I worked on editing the third Wayfarer book.  I have it nearly in shape.  I think one more read through once I put in these edits.

Even better than that, I got the first scene written for the fourth book.  I’ll probably shift to working on that for the next few days.  Yes – all of you who are waiting – it is coming.

At the end of my day – the final end, not the end of the work day – I’m exhausted, still in my head, and ready for sleeping.  I’m hoping I can sleep and not have to sit up and start writing the next scene.

Down Time

At work, I have people in and out of my office.  Even when they aren’t coming in my office, there is noise up and down the hall with faculty and students collaborating.  It isn’t always chaos but it comes close. 

Being part of a large family, chaos is normal for me.  I cope with it in my own ways whether that is listening to family news from faculty or student workers or hearing complaints about students or faculty or a myriad of other ways.  This is my social time.  I’m interacting with people. 

When I get home, I want my peace and quiet.  I love those moments when Ken and I chat about our day or some news report or whatever.  I enjoy the time he and I spend together watching tv or just being together.

Still that is social time for me, granted it is on a smaller level but still social time.  I enjoy the people in my life whether work or home.

Being an introvert, what keeps me coping and managing all the chaos is the time I spend alone.  Last night I sat in the dark and thought about things.  A variety from story lines to possible story lines to life and anything else that popped into my head.  I wrote for awhile but the time I spent in the dark just thinking helped me bring the focus back into who I am and what I need. 

The alone time, the me time, helps me handle the chaos in my life and helps me let go of the stress in life.  It isn’t something new.  One of my favorite activities as a child was to climb a tree and read a book.  I had a favorite red maple tree I’d go hide out in.  Even as an adult and mother, there were times Ken took the kids so I could have time to myself.  Alone time helps me be a better me. 


I just watched Susan Cain’s talk at TED conference.  I found her book Quiet to be incredible and self-affirming.

I live with an extrovert.  He is amazing to watch when he is around people.  People like him.  He has conversations and interactions that I’m either too shy to have or to reserved to have.

He has learned that when I need alone time, he gives it to me.  For me, I can go out and talk to people and deal with the world as a whole.  I’ve done customer service for years.  There is nothing harder for me than to make that cold call or to put out my ideas to others.  Yet, I’ve done it for a long time because it is usually part of my job.  One job I had to call different companies all over Europe.  This was difficult for me as I didn’t speak their language and I didn’t know their cultural norms.  Plus talking to other people.  I did it.  At the same time I hated it.  I always felt I did a poor job of it.

In my life now, I’m spending more time alone, thinking, delving into the world of writing and creating.  I’m finding my confidence growing.  The more time I spend alone the better I feel about myself and what I’m doing.  I still have self-doubt but it is less than when I was having to put myself out there.

In writing, the hardest task for me is marketing – the most extroverted part of writing.  I know how to do it.  I know what needs to be done but at the same time I dread it.  I still do it.

If you are an introvert or you know one, I recommend reading Quiet.  It will help you understand yourself or that person better.  It is well written and researched.  She has a lot of good things to say.