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I’ve got a romance manuscript and in my manuscripts targetiing adults I include characters having sex.  One of the most difficult things in writing a sex scene is finding the balance between describing the anatomy and act of sex without making it pornographic.  How many euphemism can you really write about an erect male organ or to describe the joy of an orgasm? 

To delve into some of the possibilities, I opted to do a bit of research on the Internet.  Now I’m not looking for porn – nothing wrong with it but not the purpose of this research.  I was concerned about getting to sites that were … to put it politely … gross. 

I found a couple of sex dictionaries which were educational I guess.  I never knew there were so many terms for a penis.  Perhaps we are just a tad too obsessed with them?  Don’t get me wrong – I like the anatomy of a man quite a bit but really some of these terms were a bit much.  The one that sticks in my head that I don’t think men would like is penie… I just keep hearing teenie wittle penie… and yes that is in a cutsy baby type tone.  I’m pretty sure if that were said to an aroused man it would have the same effect as cold water.

My foray into these dictionaries was amusing and a bit sad.  Do we really not have better phrases than “his burgeoning male member”?  Thrusting is another term that is frequently used… how many appropriate synanims are there for thrust?  Push, shove, propel, drive, force, propel, plunge are on the list and some of these just sound painful not romantic. 

If we can’t describe the act of sex (hopefully wonderful and fulfilling sex) then do we just describe the emotions behind the act?  What if a character doesn’t have emotions and it is just sex to them? 

I did find one site which does discuss and list many euphemisms.  I have to say that after the other sites, I bookmarked that site and stopped.  For anyone who is looking for a good euphemistic resource here is the site  http://home.epix.net/~jlferri/sexrom.html

For myself, when I work on these scenes, I am usually pretty raunchy the first time through.  Some of my best work is done when I edit it.  Until I figure out a better way – I’ll just keep fumbling in the dark… 🙂

I know that my alarm goes off at 5:30 every morning.  I hit my snooze and am out of bed by 6:06 almost every morning (sometimes I take an extra 9 minutes).  Unless I’m on vacation, this is my routine – boring, normal, typical, routine for the evilness morning is – so not a morning person. 

Last night I saw 10:00 pm hit the clock on my computer.  I said to myself – no more than an hour more. I have to get some sleep for work in the morning.  The next time I look at the clock it is nearly 11:40.  I haven’t gathered anything for work.  I’ve not gotten my purse together, thought about what needs to be gotten organized for the morning.  I’ve just been lost in my writing. 

I know the alarm will have a death sentence in the morning because I’m not going to make it into bed before midnight.  Yet I still look at the clock and where I am in the manuscript.  The question on my mind – Do I dare delve back into writing?  That’s crazy right?  6 am is early and mornings suck…

My creative flow on this story is fabulous.  I can’t seem to type fast enough.  When the words slow to a trickle, I have only to go take a nap and suddenly I’m filled up with words.  That’s the other thing, when I sleep I dream of the story.  When I drive I’m analyzing what I’ve written. 

Today on the way home I kept turning over a scene I’d written last night.  There was something about it that wasn’t right – I knew it when I wrote it.  It wouldn’t let me be and suddenly as I’m driving down the highway cursing a putzy driver, the solution presents itself.  I’m so focused on figuring out the details of reworking this one scene I can’t find my own house (yes I am a dork)… I turn on my road on auto pilot and suddenly I realize I don’ t know where my house is.  Fortunately I didn’t drive passed it.

I come in the house and my daughter has made cookies and lasagne for supper.  I tell her how great it smells and that I’ll be back because I have to fix this scene.  When she calls out that supper is done, I am stunned that I’ve been sitting at my computer long enough for her to assemble and bake lasagne…

I’ve fixed the scene.  It is so much better now, funnier and a better fit.  I’ve written another scene and I’ve made some decisions on the next set of scenes.  I’m excited about them and I can’t wait to write them. 

So why am I writing in my blog?  Well a friend told me she was going to call.  I don’t want to get interrupted in the middle of a scene so I’m taking a break and waiting for her call.  Oh yeah and let me not forget – I want to talk to her as we haven’t had a lot of time together lately…

Somehow I think it is going to be a very short night again….

What a surprise I got when my daughters text me to say they will have a few days off in a row and with a bit of help for gas money they could come home!!!!  I immediately turned to my budget to determine how much help we could give.  With a bit of juggling and some help from a friend, the girls will be home for Christmas.  It will almost be like old times. 

Beth will be here as well as all the girls.  The six of us can be together and enjoy each other’s company.  I’m sure there will be a touch of bickering and a lot of laughter.  Those are two factors in the mix of our life that never disappear. 

Ken has been working in the basement to get beds and areas cleared enough to give the girls comfortable and private places to sleep.  Hopefully they will have time to decide what from the stack of things in the basement they want to take back with them.  I don’t know if they will have time though.  They are pretty much driving one day, being here one day, and driving back the last day.  It is a quickie visit and I can’t wait.

Well this morning I got up to about 4 inches of snow on the ground.  The trees are covered in a pretty layer of snow with white topping the gray brown of the trunks.  The evergreens are frosted with snow.  The world was somewhat silent but a neighbor is snow blowing their drive now and the hum of a working motor interrupts the peace of the picture outside my window. 

It’s still snowing.  No wild wind, swirling blizzard but the snow keeps falling.  I’ve not been out in it and am hoping to avoid it for as long as possible.  There’s a fire in the fireplace in the family room and the house is a comfy haven from the cold outside. 

It almost seems holiday like with this first snow.  Our holiday will be early this year.  Gin and Stephanie both have enough days off in a row that they are going to come home.  I can’t wait to see them and hug them.  We will be able to share a family Christmas with Beth.  It will be the six of us just like it used to be.  Really that is the BEST present I could have.  I’m very excited to see them and to have them spend a day with us.  I’m sorry they will spend two days driving to get a day with us but I’m glad they are coming home.

I went back to work on Wednesday hoping to have time to write at night… sadly that didn’t happen.  So here it is Friday night (finally) about 9 pm where I’m at and I’m sitting down to write for the first time in three days.  It’s been a rough week even though I only worked three days.  I’ve not slept, I’ve got headaches, and I’m generally pretty darn grumpy…

I think my biggest problem is that I’ve stalled on my story.  I can’t move forward in my head with the story till I get what is already there in my head down on paper.  Instead of being a good responsible adult and going to bed at a decent hour, I’m going to write.  I’m hoping if I write for an hour or two or three, I’ll sleep better and feel better.  Then the creative part of my brain will be able to work out the next part of the book. 

We are supposed to get snow tonight and tomorrow.  I hope I can still go to my brother-in-laws birthday party tomorrow night but I also hope that the snow keeps me cozy inside working on my book.  I also need to take the time to reread the one manuscript I think is done and get it prepped with a nice letter to go off to the publisher.  Mostly though I’m hoping for some good times working on the manuscript this weekend…

Ken is back.  Vicki and I picked him up today.  He had a great time with the girls.  They either had him out site seeing or he was sleeping on their couch.  They kept him VERY busy. 

Tomorrow I return to work.  I’m almost afraid to see what my desk is like when I get back there.  I’ll have a short week and I’m sure I’ll get caught up. 

This time off has been extremely productive for me.  I think I’ve finished making edits on the Moon manuscript.  One more read through I think and then I’ll send it to the new publisher.  Cross your fingers and toes….   I got some of the work done on the poetry manuscript.  I started a new story and spent the bulk of my time working on this story.  I have 31,000 words written (that’s nearly 100 pages double spaced).. I’m sort of wishing I had the rest of the week off to finish writing the first draft.  I think I might be able to get it done if I had till next Monday.  It has been great because I write and when I”m tired of it I nap.  When I get up from napping, I go back to writing.  I’ve been writing a lot of hours a day – up to ten hours a day maybe…

Reality is though I won’t have time off like this again until the end of December.  I can only hope I can get a lot done in the couple of hours I have at night because tomorrow I am back to the normal routine. 

This morning I woke up thinking about the story I started yesterday.  It is amazing to me how I can SEE how this story will work out.  I have chapter headings in my head.  I have a plan and a climax and KNOW where this story will go.  Now all I need is the time and peace to get it written. 

I did get the edits done on Moon Affirmations.  I’ll be printing it and reading it one more time before I send it back to the other publisher.  Hopefully it gets accepted.   I also did an initial sort of my poems so I can begin to think about the groupings / chapters I might want to include in this manuscript. 

Mostly today while Ken, Gin and Stephanie were at the football game and having a grand time, I was busy writing.  I went from just under 5,000 words to nearly 16,000 words.  I’m working on the fifth chapter and don’t want to stop but it is already 12:15.  At a couple of points today, I got hung up on little details – like a nickname for a character.  It was holding me up.  I couldn’t hear the conversation between her and her foster father because he needed to have a nickname for her.  Once I got the nickname I could hear the conversation.

Oh and I made Vicki and I breakfast today too.  So I’m not a complete hermit.  I’m going to bed now though because my ears are ringing and I’m dropping from exhaustion.  I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and start writing more.  I love where this story is going.  Hopefully I can get a nice chunk of it done before I have to go back to work.

I woke up yesterday with a story in my head.  It has been mulling about there trying to gather form for a while now.  Yesterday morning I woke up, showered, sat down to the computer and wrote about 1000 words in roughly half an hour.  I was dragged away to take Ken to the airport and spend the day with my daughter and her godmother. 

As I’m driving in to the airport, I’m thinking about where I left the story.  I am adding layers in my head and working out details.  I kiss my husband goodbye and watch him walk into the airport to fly away to Georgia.  There are pangs of missing him even though he just left.  I have a moment of worrying about him flying for the first time.  But I have to let that go…

Vicki and I drive towards home and picking up her godmother.  We are off to the movies and lunch.  All the while I’m thinking about this story in my head.  I can’t let it go.  It keeps pushing its way into my brain.  We saw Tangled.  It was good and light hearted.  Even while I’m watching that this story is poking me.

We go out to lunch and back to our place for cards and games.  It’s fun.  We have a good time.  Still that story pokes at me.  I take her godmother home and my thoughts are all about the story.  I have supper with my daughter and the story is all but jumping up and down in front of me demanding my attention.

Finally after a shower to warm up, I sit back down to the computer.  I write.  My mind is happy filling in the details, finally being able to tell the story.  Vicki interrupts me with her giggling – it makes me smile a lot.  She comes to talk to me, bring me fluid, chocolate…

Somewhere around 11:30 she nudges me (okay really she hit me over the head with a large mallet) to go to bed.  I look at my story.  Realize I’m at a good stopping point and decide she’s right – I should sleep.  Nearly 5000 words into this story and I’m still focused on it so much I woke up this morning thinking about it. 

Today – I’m going to get the edits for the Moon manuscript on the computer.  Then I’ll see where my writing takes me… want to guess where I’ll end up? 

Sleep has been as elusive as the Easter Bunny for me.  Wednesday I woke up at 3 am and never really got back to sleep other than to doze.  I was up till 2:30 am Friday morning (my own fault here I was reading and talking to a friend) but when I went to bed I couldn’t sleep.  I tossed and turned for three hours.  I got up for a drink of water and bathroom break.  When I went back to bed, Ken was getting up.  I told him to wake me up at 10.  I only dozed.  You know the sort of half sleep where you know you aren’t sleeping but you aren’t awake enough to get up.  I gave up trying about 9:30.  It was a rough day yesterday.  I crawled into bed at 3 yesterday afternoon and attempted to sleep.  By 8 pm I gave up as I didn’t do more than doze. 

I decided well if I can’t sleep then I might as well get some work done.  In my office I gathered up the projects I wanted to work on and took them out to the dining room table.  I worked from 9ish to 11:30 on my Moon book and got all the edits done including a rough draft for the Resources / Bibliography section.  That felt good though it was very hard to focus. 

Finally about 2 am this morning I fell asleep – completely unconscious.  Now I only got about 5 hours of sleep but to be completely unaware of evrything is amazing… Whether I finally slept because I actually got work done or just complete exhaustion took over I don’t know.  But both things I needed to do got done – sleep and some work. 

While Vicki is off at the library I’m going to tackle one more writing task – I’ll see how things go maybe I’ll make a bigger dent in the other two projects than I think…

Well it is Thanksgiving and I know that most writers are giving out their list of things they are thankful for… Mine is the same – family, friends, job, home… It seems a bit trite to sit in my comfortable home and spew some mushy spiel about how grateful I am for my life.  I am grateful. I try to be and show my gratitude every day.  So instead I’m going to talk about the things I think need to be worked on either by myself or in general. 

I know I’m not as patient as I could be.  I want what I want and I don’t want to be bugged while I work towards getting it.  This last month I’ve been very focused on my writing – to the point where I get easily annoyed when I get interrupted.  I don’t know if it is the coming winter season (which I think we should all hibernate for) making me feel more hermit like or the fact that I’m on a roll with writing and I just want to focus on that.  Either way I need to have patience with myself and the process.  I also need to have patience with my husband and daughter who live with me and expect me to be a contributing member of the household. 

I am grateful for the men and women of the military who go to the useless and senseless battles they are told to go to.  I see our world battling over stupid things – the middle east, Korea… When will the people in our society learn that might doesn’t make right and we have to somehow learn to live on this planet together.  If you don’t like your neighbor then don’t socialize with them… Yes I’m talking about the individual but I’m also talking about countries.  North Korea wants the world to know they are a bad ass… fine woo hoo you are a bad ass… now go back to your corner and stop messing up the environment and wreaking havoc… You don’t like South Korea – fine don’t like them but leave them alone. 

The TSA stuff everyone is up in arms about… I’m somewhat on the fence about.  I don’t want to walk through an xray machine if it is going to cause damage to me and show off my private parts.  At the same time I’ve seen the pictures and there is really no way to tell who it is.  So do I really object?  I don’t know… Also the pat downs… well I sure as hell don’t think I want someone touching me the way I’ve seen some of those pat downs go… but having said that – I sure as hell don’t want to get on a plane where someone was missed who is carrying a bomb or a weapon… Which is the right way to do things?  I don’t know.. I got an email from Stephanie about having a room where you step into it and any bombs a person is carrying will be exploded … This may be slightly barbaric but it sort of makes sense to me… Would you walk into an airport with a bomb if you knew you wouldn’t attain your target and you would still lose your life?  I know the system isn’t perfect but at least they are trying to protect travelers… and if you don’t like the system – go by car, bus, or train… or stay home…

Well I have to go make stuffing now… so there are my rants and gratitude for the day… what are yours?