Feeling Frustrated

I know what you are all going to say to me.  Hang in there it is just the first week.  However, I can’t help how I feel at this point in time.  Let me preface this with a quick outline of my day…

Grocery shopping at 8:30, nearly 11 by the time it was all done and taken care of; lunch and then settling in to study.  I had three chapters to read and some writing to do.  I got my stuff together and decided I would submit some poetry as I could get extra credit for submitting to a couple of publications for my creative writing class.  After lunch I sit at my computer and get a half dozen submissions done.  Then I tackle my language studies book.  I’ve got just one chapter to read a little over twenty pages so should be a breeze right?  WRONG!!!

I’m researching terms on the internet because they aren’t clear in the book.  I’m looking in a dictionary.  I’m whining so much Vicki reads what I’ve read and tries to help.  I’ve only covered about ten pages and it is HOURS later.  I’m feeling frustrated that I’m just not getting it. 

I give up on the one section.  I get most of it and I’m hoping class discussion will clarify it for me.  I move on to the next section which does make more sense to me.  Still I’m tired and frustrated.  I know I’m not learning a damn thing.  I close my book and give up. 

Vicki being a librarian has kindly gone to the library to reserve books to explain my book to me.  Great more reading… I know I’m old and it’s been a long while since I studied grammar but I think I need a refresher course of sorts.  The terminology is killing me.  I think I understand the underlying theory but the terms are throwing me off.

Then I go to my computer to get some down time with relaxing fun emails and games.  In my emails I have two rejections.  Go ahead universe just kick me when I’m down. 

Okay I’m done whining.  I’m going to bed and tomorrow when I get up I’m going to tackle the last ten pages in that book, finish off the two chapters in the other two books and do the damn writing assignment.  Then I’m going to look at the next week of assignments and see what I have to tackle for that. 

I may be down (i.e. damn exhausted, frustrated and annoyed with myself) but I sure as hell am not out. 

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