Thirty two years ago today I was a young and naive seventeen year old preparing for a journey I really had no clue what it would be like. Unlike most girls, I didn’t dream of a certain wedding or even getting married. Then Ken came into my life.
Our first year of marriage was difficult as we both had to grow up, learn to be partners and parents, and cope with the pressures put on young married couples. It was a rough year but we survived. We lost my grandmother and other loved ones. We worked through unemployment, money issues, and almost all issues that couples handle throughout their marriage.
The myth for marriage is that your wedding will be a perfect day that is the beginning of a perfect life together. That is bullshit. It is the beginning – but it isn’t a magic ring that once you put the wedding ring on your finger life becomes perfect. It is that you have chosen a partner to walk through this imperfect life. With all of life’s good and bad times, this is the person you are choosing to trust with your most intimate secrets, your heart, and your true self.
As is normal, the person you are closest to is the person who can be the best for you and the worst. I know I drive Ken nuts with my foibles just as some of his drive me nuts. There are few that can make me angrier or happier than him. I’m sure if you asked he would say the same.
Marriage is a joining of lives. Ken and I joined our lives on this day 32 years ago. It has been a journey of discovery both self and as a couple. We have learned to be parents, adults, children, and every other aspect of partners along this journey. For this journey, I can think of no one else I would have wanted to spend this time with. Ken is my husband, my love, and my soulmate.