While driving home last night after a long day, I spoke with my middle daughter. She told me about one of her co-workers. This woman was abused by her boyfriend resulting in him being arrested and put in jail.
She has left him, taking her three sons with her. They went through a trial. Even though the man has a long history of domestic abuse the only reason the judge put him in jail was because she wrote a letter. She has a no-contact order.
Now he is in jail. However, she gets “love” notes from him. The police aren’t taking them seriously. She says this is how he used to talk to her when he beat her. She wants the police to put a stop to it, you would think no contact means no freaking contact but apparently if you talk nice in your contact it is okay.
I was irate, disappointed, and disgusted by the response. Now I heard this third hand so I could be wrong but I want to call the police department in her town and say “What the F**K?”
I talked about this in a private message to a friend on facebook – she said when her first husband beat her – back before women’s shelters and such – the police gave her a pamphlet on how to be a better wife.
I think my head exploded. Is it any wonder women wanting to get married is on the decline? I know there are good men in the world. I’ve been fortunate enough to have relationships with several of them from my father, husband, brothers-in-law and co-workers. If I tell this story to them, they will be as appalled as I am.
My question is – when does the rest of the world get it? When do we stop blaming the victim? When do we make it known that hitting someone else – loved one or not – is WRONG. In the case of my daughter’s friend – her boyfriend has threatened to kill her and her three kids. If the police do nothing to stop the “good” contact when there is a NO freaking contact order, what happens when he gets out of jail and can lay hands on her and her sons.
It is time for women to say NO MORE. No more rape, no more abuse, no more crap from anyone. Stop worrying about being called a bitch and stand up for yourself and for other women. We need to get tougher on crimes against women and stop with the attitude that boys will be boys. Boys are supposed to grow up to be men and men – real men – don’t do this crap.
I don’t hate men. I know there are going to be some out there who say – she’s a man hater. I good man – like a good woman – is a gem. I have one. I know. He’s never raised his hand to me. He stands with me, supports me, and loves me. He’s a real man and the best kind. It’s time we taught our boys to be men – real men who respect and honor the women in their lives.