I know it is December. I know that I live in Wisconsin and not Hawaii. But when the starting temp for the day is minus five I consider that damn fucking cold. Brilliant me, I was tired Monday night and just wanted to get home. I debated about getting gas. We were at a nearly balmy temp of five degrees so I thought maybe if I’m lucky it will be warmer in the morning and I’ll get gas then. I didn’t believe myself but I was tired…
Tuesday morning, after getting not a second of sleep all night, I realize I can’t squeak out one more day from the gas in my gas tank. Well okay I probably could have but what if I got stuck in traffic or a snow bank…
I’m all bundled up but still that sneaky wind finds little cracks and crevices to sneak into and chill me to the bone. I pumped my gas and swiped down my windshield with a dry piece of paper towel in order to see. My washer fluid isn’t working because it is DAMN FUCKING COLD. Plus if I sprayed my windshield washer it would have formed a film of ice even though my car was edging towards warmish…
I don’t mean to complain. I know we have to endure winter but couldn’t we stay in the damn cold range? I mean I know it may not seem like a big difference but feeling like each breath is going to make your lungs shatter apart because of the cold is sort of a big step. In the damn cold range it is the time to consider maybe just zipping up the jacket or adding a scarf. The DAMN FUCKING COLD level means you are walking around with a comforter duct taped around you to block out the frigid fingers of the winter wind. Of course you have to have eye holes and maybe a heated tube to be able to breathe but still…
The wicked wind plays tricks on you too because while we might have temperatures in the minus five range the wind chill (trust me it isn’t just a chill) drops the temp to minus twenty. This of course edges the temp range from damn fucking cold to way too damn fucking cold.
I don’t know about the other walking comforters but I’m ready for the DAMN FUCKING COLD weather to be done and move into a more reasonable range… heck I’d even take fucking cold or damn cold instead…