Tag: women

Sexism

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
Last night an insurance agent came to our house to try to sell us some life insurance.  This agent asked Ken what he did; then turned to me and asked if I was just at home.  The assumption being that as a woman I am helpless and rely on my husband for support.  I was offended and it showed. (Remind me never to play poker.)  I said well no actually I work at the university full time. 
The agent tried to recover and asked about our family.  Of course we told her we have three children and told their ages.  She asked if we had any grandkids.  We said no and not likely to because the girls have all said they don’t want children.  The agent then asked oh are they all boys?  We said no they are girls.  The agent was stunned and asked really girls usually want children.  Why don’t they want children? 
First that was a very personal question.  It is no one’s business but my daughters their reasons behind their decisions.  Second how traditional can the thinking be and as this person is working with the public don’t you think this person should be neutral in these types of areas?
This agent also kept stressing that since I work for the state I have GREAT benefits.  With all that is going on politically and the traditional views this person was expressing I’m sure the agent thought we were made of money. 
My biggest problem with this person, I would expect such sexism from men but this was a woman.  I did not expect such sexist views and attitudes from a woman.  Aside from the money issues, I would not have spent money with this person just because of her attitude.  How disappointing to have such attitudes and assumptions from a working woman.

Violence

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
I’ve had a blessed life.  I was raised by two loving normal people.  I had siblings who were protective and loving for the most part.  While I grew up during tumultuous times, I don’t remember that tumult touching my life.  My world was peaceful, safe, and loving. 
This was a blessing but it also made me a very naïve and innocent pre-teen / teenager.  I was told by my parents I could do or be anything.  I felt invincible as I’m sure most teens do. 
An incident happened in my early teens that changed me and wiped away some of that innocence and naiveté.  One of my sisters married a man and they lived just down the road from us.  One day, this sister and I returned to their farm.  I can’t remember where we were but I remember what happened when we walked into the milk house.  The milk house is where the tank is kept to store the milk in after the cows are milked.  We walked in.  Her husband stormed in with murder on his face.  I was frightened by his look, stance, and actions.  Just before he put his hands on her, I remember my sister pointing to me.  He didn’t see me I don’t think.  He grabbed my sister by the throat. 
To my utter shame, I was so scared I fled the milk house.  I remember running out of their barn and all the way home.  I know that his brother called to me as he had just arrived at their farm.  I just kept going.  I didn’t tell anyone about it.  I just fled.  I’d never seen a man put his hands on a woman like that.  My parents’ interactions were all loving.  I can’t remember them even shouting at each other.
To this day I’m ashamed of my reaction.  If I could go back, I’d fly to her defense.  I’d try to get between her and him to stop the abuse and violence she suffered at his hands. 
She is a strong woman and left the man under her own terms.  It horrifies me that she suffered any of that.  I wonder if I’d had the courage to stay to help her if she would have left him sooner.  I wonder if I’d had the courage to tell someone what I’d seen if it would have changed anything.
I know that this incident taught me a number of lessons about standing up for people even when others don’t.  It taught me to be a proponent for women.  It helped define the type of behavior I allow in my relationships.  It helped me teach my kids to stand up for themselves.  I know that I never want to feel that helpless and frightened again.
My sister and I have never spoken of that day or the incident.  I hope she has forgiven me for not defending her.  I’ve also never spoken of this because I was so ashamed of my actions. 
It is my hope that sharing this incident will help other women.  It will help them free themselves from bad relationships and dangerous situations.  I experienced one incident of violence.  It changed me forever.  If your child or children are experiencing this type of violence in the home, they are changed forever. 
It doesn’t matter if it is emotional, physical, or verbal abuse.  If someone is hurting you, I urge you to severe the relationship and protect yourself before there are children involved.  We as a society need to tell abusers (regardless of gender) that it is wrong and they HAVE to stop.  Until we do that, the abuse will continue.  Lives will be lost.  Souls will be damaged, possibly irreparably. 

Craft Day

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
I’m hosting a craft day next weekend.  It should be a lot of fun.  It will be my middle daughter, her godmother, a friend, one of my sisters, and my mom.  We are all going to bring something to do while we sit around and chat. 
This is something I’d love to do more often.  It would be great to have a regular time when women could come together to socialize without there being expectations for the day.  No makeup unless you want to.  No fancy clothes.  Just women coming together to laugh and talk while we work on crafts (or not). 
I plan to work on crocheting.  I know some people are bringing other things like knitting, needlework, or beading. It doesn’t really matter if we are getting together to enjoy the time.
Ken will be in a different room watching the football game.  I don’t know if other men will join him – they are welcome.  Some of the women might wander in there too.  Not all women share my abhorrence for football. 
I’m looking forward to it and hope that everyone has a good time…

Why are females not valued?

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

Catching up on my DVR last night, I watched parts of the View from this week.  At one point, the women discussed the nun who was excommunicated because she allowed doctors to perform an abortion on a pregnant woman.  The woman would have died if the abortion hadn’t been performed.  They brought up all sorts of other details like this woman also had four other children at home and other things.  The women were outraged that this nun was excommunicated – as am I.  She did what was right.  It isn’t like the fetus at 11 weeks could survive without the mother.  So they couldn’t do a C section to deliver it.  If the woman had died trying to complete the pregnancy, the baby would have died. 

I understand the Catholic beliefs that life begins at conception.  I understand why they don’t think abortion is good.  Really does anyone?  However, in this particular circumstance abortion may have stopped a pregnancy but it also saved a life.  No one mentioned the hell the mother must be going through.  First she isn’t able to carry a child she must have wanted (I’m assuming here) to term.  So she is grieving the loss while at the same time being grateful to be alive (talk about conflict).  Then the Catholic church (some bishop – a man) turns around and punishes the nun who helped to save her life.  In essence, the Catholic church is saying it was wrong to save this woman’s life. 

I could rant for paragraphs about how I feel about this.  However, I want to go back to the fact that the View discussed this topic one day.  Apparently overnight they received numerous emails, most of which started with I don’t watch your program… well if you aren’t watching what do you care?  There was an email from a gentleman who called the women of the View not good Catholics because they criticized the church.

If the church can’t stand up to a few women criticizing it then perhaps it shouldn’t be in business.  On top of which isn’t it the duty of the membership to keep the organization honest and fair?  The women of the View asked why this nun (a woman) got excommunicated when the priests (men) who abused all the children didn’t?  This is a severe double standard.  I understand that the nun “broke” the rules in the eyes of the church.  Didn’t those men?  Why implement a harsh punishment against her when you didn’t against the men? 

I’m not Catholic.  I think Catholicism is out of date and out of touch with the reality of our current society.  I think the Catholic church is a bunch of old white guys who are trying to desperately hold on to power they don’t have any right to.  They are the worst case of good old boys society.  This is why I’m not Catholic – well and a whole bunch of other reasons.  However, when they apply their own rules and standards so unequally I question why anyone remains in this religion.  The women from the View didn’t hurt the image of the Catholic church.  The Catholic church hurt its own image.