Tag: women’s rights

Women’s Value

by eileentroemel, posted in Life

Vicki is a news junky.  Because she is a news junky I hear all sorts of stories that are good, bad, funny, and tragic.  The three articles I talk about in here have provoked me. 

India has had at least two severe gang rapes in the last month.  Both women were taken hostage on a bus.  The first woman it happened to was a month ago and she died from the damage they did.  She lost 90% of her intestines because one of her murders thought it was great fun to shove a pipe up into her and pull them out.  The second woman was held hostage by six men and returned to her home the next day. 

There are other stories like the 15 year old girl in Pakistan (I think) who was “married” to an older man (50s I think).  She ran away from her alleged husband and back to her family because he abused her. 

I’m sure if I were to look there would be more stories like this and not just in foreign countries.  Our global society has put women into a precarious situation.  We are supposed to be virginal unless we are married.  Then we are supposed to be a sex kitten.  We are supposed to be perfect housekeepers, mothers, and career oriented.  No matter how good we are though, society deems us second class citizens. 

I’m not male bashing here.  I love real men.  You know they guys who can clean up after their sick kids, love you when you look like shit, cry with you, laugh with you – real men.  Real men are as offended and outraged by these acts as women are. 

Somehow in our global society men (not all and certainly not the real ones I talk about above) have devalued women.  If a woman is raped – well it is her fault in some way – she had to be wearing something to provoke the attack or she was drunk or she just was.  In no other crime is the victim blamed for what happened. 

All of these excuses that are put out there by the uninformed people should offend men.  Essentially society is saying men can’t control themselves.  All it takes is the sight of a woman to provoke him into uncontrollable violence. 

In the case in India where the rape occurred a month ago, the men were complaining about the abuse they got from the police.  The reasonable person in me says two wrongs don’t make a right and their abuse of him doesn’t help the case go through the courts.  The outraged woman in me says Karma is a bitch. 

Somehow we have to put a stop to the devaluing of women.  I’ve asked before but write your representatives on the state and federal level.  Ask them how they are supporting women’s rights.  Stand up with other women to show we can be a united force and that we won’t accept this type of behavior from anyone.  Speak out against criticism of the way a woman is dressed, behaving, and so on.  Respect yourself and teach your children to respect people.  Our boys need to learn this just as much as our girls do. 

Tired

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
Yesterday I visited with Laura.  It was a great time with us just talking and spending time together.  I really needed to unwind and have conversation.  Even when we don’t agree we do it in a good way.  She is mad at me because today the plan was for me to go see One for the Money – which I did.  Laura – take your honey and go see the movie.  It is worth the tickets price – captured all the good things in the book. 
Laura asked me a question yesterday that had been on my mind for a while.  She asked if I get tired of all the political stuff.  The answer is easy.  Absolutely.  Here are a few of the things I’m tired of. 
I’m tired of having to fight for rights that women should already have.  I’m tired of fighting for the people who have nothing but can’t be heard because they can’t pay for the $5000 a plate dinner.  I’m tired of having to read and research and analyze all sorts of information in order to see what mayhem the politicians are up to yet again.  I’m tired of feeling betrayed by my elected officials – like the governor, senators, representatives – almost all of them.  I’m tired of signing petitions to stop things that have no affect on my elected officials.  I’m damn tired of my elected officials not representing me or my beliefs but following their own agenda and pocketbook.
Yeah – I’m tired but what do I stop doing?  Who do I stop trying to stand up for?  Women?  Children?  The poor?  It would be nice if the politicians (doesn’t matter what party) would listen to me and all their other constituents. 
As a parent, I’ve always been told to pick my battles.  I guess I’m picking my battles now but to be honest there are so many right now that it is exhausting.  What the hell… I don’t need to sleep but women need birth control and the right to make decisions about their own bodies.  Children need education, protection from being forced to work, food, and so much more.  The poor need education and a helping hand.  Someone has to speak up for them and fight to protect them. 

If my voice can be heard through a phone message, email, letter, petition, or any other way, then I’ll take being tired.  Will you?

Politics…

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
There is so much going on in our political world right now.  Perhaps I should say there is so much going on in our political world that I am appalled and disappointed about. 
Women’s issues:  The Supreme Court which is supposed to be impartial and fair, just ruled that women were not allowed to have a class action suit against Walmart.  It is interesting to note that the three women on the court dissented (as well as one man) and those who agreed with the ruling were all men.  How is this judgment by our peers?  I think it shows that women still are considered second class citizens.  We still aren’t allowed to make as much as a man.  Women are still undervalued and demoralized.  We are still considered property essentially. 
All the nonsense about Planned Parenthood is another HUGE concern.  What will happen to the poor women who cannot afford health care?  If birth control becomes too expensive and cancer checks are out of reach for women (poor or not) then what will happen?  I’ll tell you what will happen.  Women will go back to having babies every year.  They will wear out their bodies to the point where they die.  Women who use birth control to regulate their cycle and help control heavy bleeding or sporadic periods will find themselves suffering every day. 
Conceal and Carry:  I’m all for the right to own guns.  Everyone touts that this is a right because of the 2nd amendment.  Well the 2nd amendment says:
Amendment 2 – Right to Bear Arms. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
I’m not a constitution scholar but to me this says for the protection of and to keep a free state, regular citizens are allowed to have guns.  The historical background for this amendment is because when the British were governing us they took away the citizens guns.  This meant that in a hostile country with Native Americans and wild animals the settlers didn’t have a way to defend themselves or hunt for food.
I don’t know about you but I don’t think that any of us need a gun to hunt for food in our society today.  Having said that, I do believe we have the right to own guns.  I don’t believe that everyone should be walking around with a pistol strapped to their leg or in their purse. 
The guns of today are vastly different than the guns of the 18th century.  You weren’t going to hide a flintlock pistol easily or a rifle for that matter.  Now we have weapons that can shoot faster and further than ever before.  They are smaller and more accurate than ever.  We want to have a law that acknowledges the advancements of this field and also of our societal standing.
Yes our constitution says we have the right to bear guns but does that mean we should allow our citizenry to walk around with guns in their purses and on their bodies?  I don’t think so especially if the person is not trained or hasn’t gone through some sort of process to determine they aren’t completely nuts. 
Collective Bargaining:  I know that people are tired of hearing about this.  Hell, I am sick of the stress and difficulties we’ve had this year.  I want to preface this with a statement.  I’m a union member for five years.  I believe unions do good things in our society.  I also believe that unions have flaws. 
Pre-unions (yup more history lessons) owners of businesses could arbitrarily change any work condition or pay without repercussions.  Some unscrupulous bosses took advantage of the work force and created unhealthy, unsafe, and even deadly work environments.  The industrial revolution was great for the country – got our economy booming and put people to work.  However, it also introduced what most people would agree were horrible working conditions with people working in conditions unfit for anyone and pay was so bad that even the children in the family had to go to work in order to support the family.
Unions came in and said if we all band together than the bosses will have no choice but to come to the table and negotiate fairly with all of us.  This essentially made the work place a more level playing field. 
Here we are a hundred years later, we have safe working conditions (mostly), good wages and benefits, and a regulated work week.  The unions have been successful.  Does this mean they are done?  No because we don’t learn from our past.  The unions have to be able to bargain collectively about every aspect of work otherwise we will revert to the conditions of the past.
In fact, we are already doing that with Walker’s proposal to change child labor laws.  He wants to allow teenagers (16 & 17) to work as many hours as they want.  In a time when parents are unemployed by the millions and people are struggling to make ends meet, should we allow our children to work 40, 50, 60 hours a week in addition to going to school?  Something will give. I guarantee if it is a choice between food on the table for the family and school, school will go by the wayside so that families can eat.
Walker claims that taking away collective bargaining rights will make it easier to balance the budget and accommodate the cuts he proposes.  If he were to talk to the unions and ask for reasonable accommodations, the unions in all likelihood would give those accommodations.  I as a state worker, union member, and tax paper am just as concerned about balancing the budget.  I’ve taken furlough days to help with the budget issues.  Every payday money comes out of my check in order to assist with the balancing of the budget.  Thousands of union workers have made this concession. 
Collective bargaining isn’t just for union workers though.  It is for all workers.  It is the unions that improve working conditions.  Once a union has negotiated for better working conditions or pay then it becomes a standard practice.  This then ripples out to the non-union workers.  Take away collective bargaining and you take away all the protections that workers have – union or not.
Health care costs:  I’ve heard so many complaints about the health care system.  It is broken.  Insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, and for profit hospitals / doctor’s offices are running our system.  This is why the costs are through the roof.  When we look at profit rather than well-being of an individual we lose what the medical profession is supposed to be about.
We need to take a close look at this industry and figure out a way to regulate and change it so that the costs are not so high.  I don’t know the answers here but I do know that what we are doing isn’t working.  If we continue this way than we are going to end up with even more people who don’t go to the doctor when they should which in the long run ends up costing the system more.
Health is something that should not be dependent on financial status.  Health care should be available to all and at a cost that any can afford even if they only make minimum wage.
There are more issues like the environment, wars, medicare/Medicaid, social security, education but anymore and my head is going to explode… 

Violence

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
I’ve had a blessed life.  I was raised by two loving normal people.  I had siblings who were protective and loving for the most part.  While I grew up during tumultuous times, I don’t remember that tumult touching my life.  My world was peaceful, safe, and loving. 
This was a blessing but it also made me a very naïve and innocent pre-teen / teenager.  I was told by my parents I could do or be anything.  I felt invincible as I’m sure most teens do. 
An incident happened in my early teens that changed me and wiped away some of that innocence and naiveté.  One of my sisters married a man and they lived just down the road from us.  One day, this sister and I returned to their farm.  I can’t remember where we were but I remember what happened when we walked into the milk house.  The milk house is where the tank is kept to store the milk in after the cows are milked.  We walked in.  Her husband stormed in with murder on his face.  I was frightened by his look, stance, and actions.  Just before he put his hands on her, I remember my sister pointing to me.  He didn’t see me I don’t think.  He grabbed my sister by the throat. 
To my utter shame, I was so scared I fled the milk house.  I remember running out of their barn and all the way home.  I know that his brother called to me as he had just arrived at their farm.  I just kept going.  I didn’t tell anyone about it.  I just fled.  I’d never seen a man put his hands on a woman like that.  My parents’ interactions were all loving.  I can’t remember them even shouting at each other.
To this day I’m ashamed of my reaction.  If I could go back, I’d fly to her defense.  I’d try to get between her and him to stop the abuse and violence she suffered at his hands. 
She is a strong woman and left the man under her own terms.  It horrifies me that she suffered any of that.  I wonder if I’d had the courage to stay to help her if she would have left him sooner.  I wonder if I’d had the courage to tell someone what I’d seen if it would have changed anything.
I know that this incident taught me a number of lessons about standing up for people even when others don’t.  It taught me to be a proponent for women.  It helped define the type of behavior I allow in my relationships.  It helped me teach my kids to stand up for themselves.  I know that I never want to feel that helpless and frightened again.
My sister and I have never spoken of that day or the incident.  I hope she has forgiven me for not defending her.  I’ve also never spoken of this because I was so ashamed of my actions. 
It is my hope that sharing this incident will help other women.  It will help them free themselves from bad relationships and dangerous situations.  I experienced one incident of violence.  It changed me forever.  If your child or children are experiencing this type of violence in the home, they are changed forever. 
It doesn’t matter if it is emotional, physical, or verbal abuse.  If someone is hurting you, I urge you to severe the relationship and protect yourself before there are children involved.  We as a society need to tell abusers (regardless of gender) that it is wrong and they HAVE to stop.  Until we do that, the abuse will continue.  Lives will be lost.  Souls will be damaged, possibly irreparably. 

Politics…

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

There is so much going on in politics I cannot believe it.  Oh a lot of the hoopla seems to have quieted but really there is a lot we need to be watching.

Supreme Court Recount is going on.  There has been extra drama from that arena with votes left unattended and unaccounted for, extra bags or mismarked bags.  It makes me wonder if there is some mischief going on to ensure the outcome.  You can go to the GAB’s site and see how the recount is coming.  There is a county by county breakdown with some interesting info on the home page or if you go into the recount page you can see the HUGE spreadsheet that is used to track the numbers for the recount.  http://gab.wi.gov/

Recalls – go out and look at all the signatures.  There has been some hinky things there.  Apparently on the democratic recalls, dead people signed.  Go check out the signatures and see if you catch anything odd.  There’s a section and you have to click on each individual group…  http://gab.wi.gov/

On a national level I just want to say – WHAT THE FUCK????  I’m outraged that Paul Ryan is my representative.  I’ve written to him numerous times on multiple topics and get these idiotic responses.  It is very repetitive and impersonal.  The bill they just passed is HORRENDOUS.  It isn’t up to the government to decide what a woman does with her body but they are once more trying to penalize and prevent women from having a choice. 

Every time I hear Paul Ryan’s name on the news, I think what the hell has the idiot done now.  It is embarrassing.  I’ll be doing everything in my power to get him voted out next.  His budget bill was a slap at everyone but the rich.  The Republican party used to stand for something but now I think they’ve all been bought.  They don’t stand for anything except greed – in my opinion…

My Body My Choice

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

Dr Phil discussed teen pregnancy on his show.  No I want to rephrase that.  He said he was going to discuss teen pregnancy on his show.  Instead he badgered a 16 year old girl who was pregnant.  He told her she was a failure.  Now he didn’t use those words but that is essentially what he said. 

I’ve heard all the statistics about teen pregnancies.  I’ve heard all the boo hooing about how these girls are ruining their lives.  (Beware a rant coming… )  Here is the thing.  I got pregnant at 17.  I got married, had three daughters all before I was 23.  I finished high school, got a degree from a tech school and even went on to college.  Yes we lived in poverty.  Yes we made mistakes.  My daughters are now 29, 26 (almost) and 24.  They are amazing adults who are well rounded and incredible.  The statistics they spout are true I’m sure but here are a few facts that need to be faced.

We teach abstinence.  This does not work.  It hasn’t worked since the beginning of time.  We don’t educate our sons and daughters about how to have safe sex.  We tell them – no don’t do it.  Well I’m sorry but you get some guy you think you love touching you and hugging you and rational thoughts disappear – at any age.  So we need to arm our children better with information. 

The step-father on this show objected to this 16 year old being put on birth control pills.  He told the mother that she might as well rent the girl a hotel room.  Well okay – rent her the damn hotel room but make sure when she goes to that hotel room she has birth control and condoms.  Because then she won’t get pregnant.

Also if this young woman is making adult decisions to have sex – and that is an adult decision – then she needs to be held accountable for the consequences of those decisions.  So does the father.  First we pamper our children.  At 16 they know what is right and wrong and if they don’t you have failed as a parent.  They should be buying their own clothes, working, and making their own decisions.  Parents should be offering advice and assistance but not making choices for them.  We need to stop coddling these kids.  You tell your kid “You got pregnant okay here is what I’m willing to do” and outline it for them.  Then tell them “you have to do the rest.  YOU are a parent now and responsible for the sole care of the child.  Therefore you better step up to the plate and do what needs to be done.  This means no partying, going without the things you want because your baby needs diapers, clothes, food etc.”  If your kid is 16 and has a baby don’t baby sit unless they are in school or at work.  If they want to go out, they can take that baby with.  If it isn’t an appropriate place for the baby then they don’t go. 

Second (and here is another rant) Where are the fathers?  Why are we holding the young women to one standard and the young men to another?  Were they not irresponsible and put their dick in someone unsheathed?  If they did or it broke or birth control failed.  Guess what.  They don’t get to party either.  They have a child to support.  Get a job.  Go to school and get a job.  You have diapers to buy and baby food… and when they outgrow the diapers there are a thousand other things to buy.  This doesn’t even cover being there for the child.  Every child needs and deserves the love of BOTH parents.  You wanted to play like men play so now live up to the consequences and be a MAN… (hate that phrase except in this case).  You wanted to play and obviously did.  So now you pay.  Step up to the plate and be a dad.  Not just a father – anyone can donate sperm.  It takes a strong and powerful man (not physically) to set aside his own needs and desires to do what is right for his child.

Dr Phil was all about how this girl should give her baby up for adoption.  She was not equipped to be a parent.  Well no shit.  But it is our job as the adults involved to get her the tools she needs to be equipped.  It is her body and it is her child.  Some old white guy (yup that means you too Dr Phil) doesn’t get to say what happens to her body or her child.  Stop badgering and shaming the girl and offer her tools to help her be the best parent possible.