Tag: rape

Sexual Harassment

by eileentroemel, posted in Life
It’s such a surprise to everyone that women are coming out saying me to. Our society has treated women as second-class Citizens for centuries. Women have been property, have been slaves, have been raped and tortured and beaten. It goes on today.

Yet now with the Weinstein everyone’s coming out with oh my God this is so shocking. But it’s not shocking it’s a common occurrence and believe 1 in 4 women are assaulted in our society. How is this all right?

How do we make it alright for little boys to grab little girls and it’s cuz he likes her. How do we allow stereotypes like girls must wear pink and boys must wear blue on TV? Why are we as women not fighting to be equals?  Equal pay, equal say, equal access to all health options like birth control and abortion.

I’ve heard perfectly intelligent men and women say oh it’s just the way it is. That’s wrong. It may be the way it is; it’s not the way it should be.

We should tell the people around us that requiring sexual favors for anything is wrong. No means no. Yet that simple phrase is so debated I feel like we need something else but I don’t know what’s stronger. How do we break this cycle of male domination in the worst ways and in the most subtle of ways? 

It’s not a woman’s problem it’s a societal problem. We have to teach our boys to be respectful. We have to teach our girls to stand up for themselves and say no, even if they have to use force to say no.

It’s time for society to realize that women have value. Without women none of us would be here. Until women feel safe and able to be around everyone we will continue to have this problem. Men need to shut up and listen. Because women say this happened to me does not mean that a man’s experience of being abused is any less or any easier to take. It simply means we as a gender have experienced more of this.

A man of power used his power to manipulate women to do things they didn’t want to do. This is rape. This happened so often it’s commonplace. Yet we act like this is something new with the Weinstein accusations being levied. 

The DA’s and the organizations and the actors and the other industries who are coming out and saying oh we didn’t know it was this bad. To them I say too little too late. Now when there’s been bad PR and an outcry against these things happening why didn’t the police or the prosecutors or the other male-dominated organizations do anything to stop this man. To me this is more cover your ass activity for these groups then it is actual prosecution and punishment.

It’s time we get our heads out of the sand or other locations and face the problem at hand. The problem is women are not valued. They are considered mothers or whores. They are considered property although in our politically correct society they aren’t called property anymore. However what else would you call it?

We need to stop talking about change and start making things change. Stand up speak out and be proud to be a woman by standing up for other women.

Let’s Call It What It Is

by eileentroemel, posted in Life

Here is another rant – you’ve been warned.

It’s such a surprise to everyone that women are coming out saying “me to”. Our society has treated women as second-class Citizens for centuries. Women have been property, have been slaves, have been raped and tortured and beaten. It continues today.

Yet now with the Weinstein scandal everyone’s coming out with oh my God this is so shocking. But it’s not shocking it’s a common occurrence and believe one in four women is assaulted in our society. how is this all right?

How do we make it alright for little boys to grab little girls because he likes her. How do we allow stereotypes like girls must wear pink and boys must wear blue on TV? Why are we as women not fighting to be equals?

I’ve heard perfectly intelligent men and women say oh it’s just the way it is. That’s wrong. It may be the way it is it’s not the way it should be.

We should tell the people around us that requiring sexual favors for something, for anything is wrong. No means no, and yet that simple phrase is so debated I feel like we need something else but I don’t know what’s stronger. How do we break this cycle of male domination in the worst ways and in the most subtle of ways?

It’s not a woman problem it’s a societal problem. We have to teach our boys to be respectful. We have to teach our girls to stand up for themselves and say no, even if they have to use force to say no.

It’s time for society to realize that women have value. Without women none of us would be here. Until women feel safe and able to be around everyone we will continue to have this problem. Men need to shut up and listen. Because women say this happened to me does not mean that a man’s experience of being abused is any less or any easier to take. It simply means we as a gender have experienced more of this.

A man of power used his power to manipulate women to do things they didn’t want to do. This is rape. This happened so often it’s commonplace. Yet we act like this is something new with the Weinstein accusations being levied.

The DA’s and the organizations and the actors and the other Industries who are coming out and saying oh we didn’t know it couldn’t possibly be this bad. To them I say too little too late. Now when there’s been bad PR and an outcry for if these things happened why didn’t the police or the prosecutors or the other male-dominated organizations do anything to stop this man. To me this is more cya Activity 4 these groups then it is actual prosecution and Punishment.

It’s time we get our heads out of the sand or other locations and face the problem at hand. The problem is women are not valued. They are considered mothers or whores. They are considered property although in our politically correct society they aren’t called property anymore. However what else would you call it?

We need to stop talking about change and start making things change. Stand up, speak out and be proud to be a woman by standing up for other women.

Is Feminism Still Needed?

by eileentroemel, posted in Life

Someone once told me feminism was no longer needed.  This was a woman who was younger.  My answer to her is look at our society and you will see the answer.

A gymnast in her excitement of winning a gold medal forgot to put her hand over her heart – she got blasted.  An Olympic man lied about being mugged and he got a boys will be boys attitude.

Women are raped which has lifelong effects on her life.  The rapists get off – with the same boys will be boys attitude.  The most recent one I read was the judge didn’t want the rapist to miss out on the college experience.

In the last week, I saw an ad for a University which showed mostly men (yes mostly white men) in their ad with an occasional woman or two who were onscreen for very little time (minority males got more time than the women).

Women still make 70 – 80% of what men make.  There are double standards galore in our society when it comes to gender roles.

My answer is – we need feminism now more than ever.  We need EVERYONE who is willing to stand up and say – this is WRONG – to do so.

If women in one of the allegedly free countries are still treated like second class citizens, how can we expect other countries to do more than we do?  How do we make a difference in the world society if we don’t resolve the problems we have in our own society?  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t survive long in the countries where women are supposed to be covered and silent.  I’d rather be a woman in the United States or most European countries than a woman in almost any middle eastern country.

When women are partners and equals, society is evolved.  When the crimes against women are taken seriously, it affirms we are equals.  When they aren’t, it proves we still need feminism.

Time to be an Adult

by eileentroemel, posted in Life

Warning – this post contains a rant with foul language.  If you can’t handle passionate beliefs and strong language, you may want to skip this post.

I’m really tired of the politics and fear mongering.  I am all for people having the right to own a gun or a dozen of them or more.  I’m not for people owning assault rifles.  An assault rifle is meant to do just that assault someone with a massive number of bullets in a short period of time.

When will we put on our big people panties and do what needs to be done instead of falling into the fear of OMG they (whoever the hell they are) want to do (insert bad thing here).

Guns – we have every right to have them.  Not because of the second amendment – read it people that was for a militia.  But our case law has moved us to having this right.  But like everything in life there needs to be reasonable limits.

I think most people can agree on a few basic things.  No one outside the military or the police need assault rifles.  They shouldn’t be able to be purchased by Joe Blow who says he’s going hunting.  If you want a gun, you should be willing to fill out a damn form and pass a background check.  If you can’t one would assume you shouldn’t be having a gun.  I see no problem with making people wait two days or so for a gun.  Because in real life, if you’re pissed enough to kill someone there are a million ways to do so – knife, poison, cutting the brake lines.  (It’s either scary I know this or it could be a side effect of being a writer).

As for race, sexual orientation, and anything else you can think of to discriminate against people with.  GET OVER YOURSELF!  The world is not out to fuck you.  If someone has more than you, work harder, work smarter, and do better.  Be the best person you can be rather than trying to drag the other person down.

You say life isn’t fair.  Yup – you should have learned that before you got into high school.  Today may be that person’s moment.  You moment was maybe yesterday or will be tomorrow.

Does anybody ever wonder if we all live and let live, we would be happier as a whole society?  I mean come on, do you really care what your neighbors are doing in their bedrooms or how they’re praying?  Isn’t it their responsibility to see to their own soul or sex life?  So long as they aren’t hurting minors or asking you to watch what do you care?

Can we please get over the bathroom thing?  I don’t now about men’s bathrooms but women’s bathrooms all have stalls to give privacy.  Once in a stall I’m not generally trying to see in the next one.  I don’t really care who’s in the next stall so long as they aren’t coming in my stall.  So far no one has – well except my kids but that stopped a while ago.

Finally, (I swear this is the end of my rant) can we please punish people who do bad things.  Can we please stop raping victims who have already been raped by putting them through the ringer?  Can we please, pretty please send the message that if you prey on women, men or children, you will be punished.  Rape is a heinous crime.  It destroys lives more completely than murder.  Rape isn’t “20 minutes of action.”  It’s a violation on the most intimate level which should be punished at the same level as murder is.

Maybe if we stopped judging each other, competing with each other, then we could fix the problems which are tearing us apart like poverty.  Instead of having the all for me attitude, we should be looking to improve all of us.

End rant for the moment – I really shouldn’t read the news.

Rape is Rape

by eileentroemel, posted in Life

In Montana, a teacher ended up having to serve 30 days for raping one of his 14 year old students.  Here is a link to the story:  http://www.politicususa.com/2013/08/28/judge-rapist-30-days-14-year-older-chronological-age.html

The reason given is ridiculous.  The girl acted older than her age.  It doesn’t matter how she acts.  The fact is she was 14 and as her teacher the man knew she was 14.  I don’t care if she danced naked down the hallway – he should have kept all his body parts to himself. 

Sadly the girl killed herself during the process of prosecuting the man.  I feel he should be charged with murder because his actions led to her death.  I know this is harsh but is it wrong? 

Typically, men like this pray on the same type of person.  If there are other victims out there, my guess would be that they won’t come forward.  What would be the point?  Frankly it amazes me that any woman reports a rape because once it is reported she is typically raped again by the system.  There are almost always accusations of whether she asked for it. 

Rape is not sex.  It is about power and control over someone who is physically weaker than the attacker.  How a female is dressed should not provoke an attack.  No means NO.  Drunk, drugged, or impaired means NO. 

We are supposed to be an advanced and enlightened culture.  Unfortunately, we still live in a society where half the population has to be afraid of the other half.  Women still fight for control of their own bodies and access to birth control.  Why? 

Women’s Value

by eileentroemel, posted in Life

Vicki is a news junky.  Because she is a news junky I hear all sorts of stories that are good, bad, funny, and tragic.  The three articles I talk about in here have provoked me. 

India has had at least two severe gang rapes in the last month.  Both women were taken hostage on a bus.  The first woman it happened to was a month ago and she died from the damage they did.  She lost 90% of her intestines because one of her murders thought it was great fun to shove a pipe up into her and pull them out.  The second woman was held hostage by six men and returned to her home the next day. 

There are other stories like the 15 year old girl in Pakistan (I think) who was “married” to an older man (50s I think).  She ran away from her alleged husband and back to her family because he abused her. 

I’m sure if I were to look there would be more stories like this and not just in foreign countries.  Our global society has put women into a precarious situation.  We are supposed to be virginal unless we are married.  Then we are supposed to be a sex kitten.  We are supposed to be perfect housekeepers, mothers, and career oriented.  No matter how good we are though, society deems us second class citizens. 

I’m not male bashing here.  I love real men.  You know they guys who can clean up after their sick kids, love you when you look like shit, cry with you, laugh with you – real men.  Real men are as offended and outraged by these acts as women are. 

Somehow in our global society men (not all and certainly not the real ones I talk about above) have devalued women.  If a woman is raped – well it is her fault in some way – she had to be wearing something to provoke the attack or she was drunk or she just was.  In no other crime is the victim blamed for what happened. 

All of these excuses that are put out there by the uninformed people should offend men.  Essentially society is saying men can’t control themselves.  All it takes is the sight of a woman to provoke him into uncontrollable violence. 

In the case in India where the rape occurred a month ago, the men were complaining about the abuse they got from the police.  The reasonable person in me says two wrongs don’t make a right and their abuse of him doesn’t help the case go through the courts.  The outraged woman in me says Karma is a bitch. 

Somehow we have to put a stop to the devaluing of women.  I’ve asked before but write your representatives on the state and federal level.  Ask them how they are supporting women’s rights.  Stand up with other women to show we can be a united force and that we won’t accept this type of behavior from anyone.  Speak out against criticism of the way a woman is dressed, behaving, and so on.  Respect yourself and teach your children to respect people.  Our boys need to learn this just as much as our girls do. 

Rape and Abortion

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

Rape is non-consensual sex.  This means if a woman says no or is incapable of choosing (i.e. is too drunk or high) to participate.  It does not matter what the victim was wearing, what the victim’s sexual history is, or if weapons are involved. 

Rape is not about sexual pleasure or fulfillment.  It is about having the power over the victim, degrading the victim, and subjugating the victim. 

GOP Candidate Akin made a foolish and archaic statement about “legitimate rape” and it shows the attitude the GOP tolerates.  Because they tolerate it, it is my opinion that they endorse this attitude towards women. 

Historically women have been treated as property.  We were traded to pay debt, sold into marriages to further men’s agendas, and we were not educated.  Here in the US we weren’t allowed a say in the political arena until the 20th century.  There still lingers this idea that women don’t know their own minds, bodies, and so on. 

There are places in our world that still hold these horrible and damaging beliefs and the practices that go with it.  Here in the US women need to stand up and say NO.  We have the power to vote.  We should get out and use that power.  We should show we won’t be held prisoner by the minority of men in this country and we will demand our rights. 

Here is the original video for Akin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdisTOKom5I

Here is a letter in response to his comments:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/todd-akin-rape_b_1812930.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

Here is the president’s response to Akin:

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/video/rape-rape-obama-criticizes-rep-todd-akin-rape-comments-17042710

If we want to stop abortions in all except medically necessary cases then we need to be more supportive of the women who are pregnant.  This means safe and affordable birth control and health care.  This means education to dispel the myths and misconceptions so many have.  This means putting a stop to rape and if it does occur make it a harsh punishment rather than a slap on the wrist.  This means making the men as responsible for the child as women are.  This means giving support to the single mothers.  Women need to have the power and control of their lives in order to feel powerful enough to go through with pregnancy.

NO

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

These are two little letters.  They form a single word.  This word has a meaning.  If men do not understand this word, then they need to not be in society. 

I watched The View today.  They were discussing Dominque Strauss-Kahn head of International Monetary Fund.  He allegedly attacked a housekeeper in a $3000 a night hotel room.  I listened to only part of the discussion because quite frankly I was appalled and disgusted.

Barbara Walters commented that this man may have an addiction.  Well I don’t give a damn.  I really don’t.  Just because you are male and have external genitals it does not give you the right to poke it wherever the hell you want to. 

If you are poking some person with it – then they damn well should have said yes I want to be poked.  Otherwise it is rape.  It doesn’t matter if you hit them.  It doesn’t matter if you are on a date.  It does matter if the person is impaired (the pokee not the poker).  If a person is not able to say yeah or nay – no poking allowed. 

There is no excuse a man can give that justifies poking when someone says NO.  Women need to stop allowing the men to use these feeble and ridiculous excuses.  You are a grown adult male.  You have had to learn to control your bodily functions.  You have had to be educated and live in civilized society.  That means you keep your damn pokey parts to yourself unless you have been told YES I WANT TO BE POKED.

No more excuses.  If you don’t understand one of the smallest words in the English language then you don’t belong in society.  You should be locked away. 

Boys Need to Grow Up

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

Beware there is a feminist rant to follow so if you don’t want to deal with it – don’t read this.

In Texas there is an 11 year old girl who was gang raped multiple times by boys ages 14 and up to adults.  This occurred in a small town.  Now I grew up in a smallish town.  My experience is that everyone knows everyone else.  You can’t do ANYTHING in a small town without someone knowing you did it.  You cannot tell me that some of these boys involved (or allegedly) didn’t know that this was an 11 year old. 

So this girl was raped.  It went unreported by her but got out because the boys (I’m commenting on their maturity level not their legal age) involved had to brag and record the horrendous things they did to this little girl. 

Newspapers quoted people in the town saying that the girl asked for the rapes to happen because she was sneaking around and dressing provocatively.  Really – really – we want to even go there?  She is 11!!!!!!  I’ve read comments that it is her parent’s fault for not keeping better control of her. 

Here is my question.  What the fuck?  Okay so after the outrage and fury has died down a bit (and only a bit), here are more questions.  This little girl didn’t ask to be sexually used by multiple males.  Even if she stood in the town square and said come fuck me, she is 11. 

Where are the parent’s of these boys to teach them that you don’t do this?  What the hell were the boys thinking?  I warn you I may have to explode if someone comes out with the boys will be boys bull shit.  It is time we stopped allowing boys to be boys and taught them to act with respect and consideration for all people – EVERYONE – and most especially when it comes to the females in the world. 

Grow up.  If you cannot control your sexual urges then do society a favor and lock yourself away.  Everyone has sexual urges.  It is part of our nature.  The thing is most of us manage to control them so that we don’t cause damage to others.  If you cannot control them – then lock yourself away so that you don’t do harm.

It isn’t that little girl’s fault that these males raped her.  It isn’t her parent’s fault if she snuck out.  It is the males who took advantage of a girl who was unprotected.  Those males are at fault for not having better control of their sexual urges and need for power over someone.  They all deserve to go to jail for a very long time. 

To the people who are blaming the victim, I only have one thing to say to you.  Shame on you!!!