Tag: family

Balancing My Life

by eileentroemel, posted in Life, Writing
Stephanie flew in last week for her college class reunion.  She is spending a couple days with Ken and I before she flies back home.  This means that I’ve probably driven nearly a thousand miles in the last week with picking her up from the airport, taking her to her reunion, and picking her up from the reunion.  Some of the family stopped in yesterday to chat with her and get to see her. 
This morning she is off spending time with a friend and I’m home all alone.  I love having her visit but this alone time gives me a chance to work on whatever I need to work on.  I find myself balancing all the different aspects of my life. 
This morning I’ve approved time sheets for my day job, downloaded some music, and will be working on writing things shortly.  Once Stephanie gets back then my focus will shift to enjoying my time with her. 
Balance is a hard thing to achieve in life and to be honest there are times I don’t feel very balanced.  About the time I think I’ve achieved some sort of balance something gets thrown into the mix to change things.
Lately my focus has been all about writing whether I’m working on writing, marketing, production, doesn’t matter.  I’ve been very focused on writing.  This weekend I’ve stepped back from that because Stephanie is here.  This is what being balanced is about.  When Stephanie goes back home, I’ll focus more on my writing and other aspects of my life.   

Mother’s Day

by eileentroemel, posted in Life, Writing
My daughters have all contacted me today.  We may be far apart physically but I think we are getting closer every day.  They are the most amazing women I know.  They are strong, compassionate and loving.  I’m very proud of them. 
With my daughters being out of town for Mother’s day, I have the day to do what I please.  This is always a bonus for me.  Yesterday I finished part of a baby gift and started the other part.  Last night, Ken and I helped my nephew move.  Ken did most of it – I drove.  We got home late last night and we both slept later than normal. 
Ken made me breakfast this morning.  It was sweet of him to do it as the girls aren’t here to do little things like that.  Since I’m moving slowly today I don’t know whether I will spend my day crocheting or work on book production.  Right now I’m putzing on the computer and don’t have a lot of energy. 
I turned fifty this year and maybe that is why but I’ve spent a lot of time just looking at my life and reflecting on my accomplishments.  My three biggest would be my daughters.  I’ve managed to raise three incredible women who are responsible members of society.  (yup mom bragging again).  However, they aren’t my only accomplishments. 
Since December, I’ve graduated from college to get my third degree since high school (associates in business, bachelor’s in business, and finally my bachelor’s in English).  I’ve also just published two books and should have a third book out soon.  I’ve managed to maintain my marriage for thirty three years (next month).  It isn’t front page news but I’m proud of who I am and what I’ve accomplished. 
Since I was seventeen, I’ve had people tell me I will fail.  I would accomplish nothing.  Actually in high school, I had a counselor who was very disparaging about my future so it began even earlier.  I go back to my parents though – my dad in particular – made me feel like I could be and do anything I wanted to do.  I may not have taken the path they wanted me to, but I’ve gotten there in the end.  Against naysayers and even against some pretty tough odds, I’ve managed to attain a level of success I think most people felt I would never reach.  More importantly, I like who I am and what I’m doing.  I’m proud of myself and pleased with my work.  At fifty, I finally feel like I’ve come into my own. 
On this mother’s day, I’m grateful for those who have helped me along the way.  Ken, who is more than just my husband, he is my best friend.  He’s learned to give me space when I need it and be there for me when I need him to be.  Virginia, Vicki, and Stephanie, my wonderful and amazing daughters, have encouraged me even while they were growing up.  They give me encouragement and support as I work my way through life.
While my daughters may be far away, they are never far because – as corny as it sounds – they are in my heart.  They are a part of everything I accomplish and everything I do.  

The Big 5 – 0

by eileentroemel, posted in Life
I turned 50 today (sort of) and I know that the typical response is you poor thing.  I’ve heard from many women that getting older is so hard on them.  For me, I don’t get this.  The older I get the better I feel about myself and more confident I am. 
It may have taken me a while to get here but I like who I am and where I am in life.  Life is perfect and I’m grateful for those family members and friends who enrich my life. 
My daughters are incredible and amazing.  I may have stumbled through raising them but I don’t think I damaged them too much – relatively speaking.  Ken has been with me for more three fifths of my life.  He has supported me through all my ups and downs.  He is my best friend and dearest love. 
If this is my halfway mark (I can only hope) then I look back on the first half of my life and realize I’ve had a varied and interesting life.  I’ve had loss and difficulties for certain.  However, my life has been enriched with learning in all the best ways from people smarter and wiser than myself. 
In my teens I dreamed of traveling everywhere and doing all sorts of ridiculous things.  I’ve traveled in a different way.  I may not have gotten to backpack through Europe or explore the pyramids but I’ve had other – better – adventures.  Life is not just good… it is DAMN good!

Change of Plans

by eileentroemel, posted in Life
This weekend my plan was to run errands and work on organizing the paperwork in the office.  It was going to be a quiet weekend spent inside as much as possible out of the frigid weather.  This is not going to happen.
Instead I’ve run some errands but now Ken is packing the van for me to go to Indiana.  Vicki has an appointment she wants me to go to on Monday.  In looking at the weather forecast today will be a better driving day than tomorrow. 
This brings me to what would you do for someone you loved – family or friend – when they are in need.  My daughter – always concerned about me with my – has offered that I not come down but I’ve rebuffed her each time.  Why?  I’m handicapped and it is difficult for me to get around.  I have concerns about getting into her apartment and if something goes wrong while I’m driving being able to get around.  All valid concerns but at the same time – my daughter needs me. 
Because she needs me, I’m going the extra mile to get to her and spend time with her.  Hopefully I won’t encounter any of the difficulties that concern me.  If I do – I’ll deal as I have to.  Mostly, I just want to get to my daughter so I can provide the support she needs.  Worries and concerns don’t really matter because she is more important than the fear that things might be tough. 
It is more important that she have the peace of mind that me being there will bring than the concerns I have over a winter drive possibly being difficult.  I know she and I will care for each other once I’m down there. 

I love that my daughters have gone off to live their lives.  They are doing exactly what I raised them to do – follow their own path.  This is the one drawback – they are far from me and it is harder to offer care and comfort when they are in need.  I do what I can and hope they know I’m there for them.  It is the one aspect of having strong adult daughters that is difficult – they have followed their path far from home and I can’t be there in an instant – except in spirit all the time.

New Year

by eileentroemel, posted in Life, Writing
The new year has started with more snow on the ground.  It seems like a great day to snuggle in, watch movies, have soup, and just be quiet.  Of course I will be crocheting as well.  My to do list is ever growing for crocheting.  I like it that way.
For the past two years I’ve been very focused on school to the near exclusion of everything else.  I know the new year is traditionally the time to set goals but right now I just want to look forward to not having a crazy schedule.  In general writing and crocheting are my goals for the year but getting more specific than that seems like too much at this point.
Reflecting on the last year I realize I’ve been very stressed out with school and getting things done.  I was playing Collapse last night and realized (even in the silly game) that I have very high expectations of my performance.  That is good in that it produces some really good work but it also puts a lot of stress on me.  I see that in the last year I’ve done that a lot (particularly this last semester).  I don’t see that standard changing as I move forward but finding a balance will allow me to be less stressed.  Not everything has to be PERFECT. 
This last year my girls have accomplished a lot.  Vicki got a job, Virginia lost a job and got two better jobs.  Stephanie has advanced within her job.  Ken and I are truly empty nesters now with none of our daughters at home.  Mostly I am enjoying the quiet.  This year I’ve seen my daughters more, which is wonderful.  We met up at Vicki’s for Memorial Day and Thanksgiving.  The Georgia girls made it home for Christmas.  Stephanie also flew home for weddings in the state and stayed with us.  Vicki has been back a couple of times as well.  I love visiting because we get to have the “Yeah I’m happy to see you” without the “I’m tired of being around you”.
This last year I’ve still managed to get a few things published even though I wasn’t focused too much on that.  A poem in the Muse and articles in Circle Magazine, the big deal for me was to get paid for a small article in Woman’s World. 

Overall it has been a good year full of good times.  There are always struggles but it is how we manage them that counts.  I believe we have done well with that – it is never easy to handle sorrow or difficulties but to come through them is what counts.  I’ve gotten through 2013 with more on the positive than on the negative and that is the best I can hope for.

Anniversary

by eileentroemel, posted in Life

Thirty two years ago today I was a young and naive seventeen year old preparing for a journey I really had no clue what it would be like.  Unlike most girls, I didn’t dream of a certain wedding or even getting married.  Then Ken came into my life. 

Our first year of marriage was difficult as we both had to grow up, learn to be partners and parents, and cope with the pressures put on young married couples.  It was a rough year but we survived.  We lost my grandmother and other loved ones.  We worked through unemployment, money issues, and almost all issues that couples handle throughout their marriage. 

The myth for marriage is that your wedding will be a perfect day that is the beginning of a perfect life together.  That is bullshit.  It is the beginning – but it isn’t a magic ring that once you put the wedding ring on your finger life becomes perfect.  It is that you have chosen a partner to walk through this imperfect life.  With all of life’s good and bad times, this is the person you are choosing to trust with your most intimate secrets, your heart, and your true self. 

As is normal, the person you are closest to is the person who can be the best for you and the worst.  I know I drive Ken nuts with my foibles just as some of his drive me nuts.  There are few that can make me angrier or happier than him.  I’m sure if you asked he would say the same. 

Marriage is a joining of lives.  Ken and I joined our lives on this day 32 years ago.  It has been a journey of discovery both self and as a couple.  We have learned to be parents, adults, children, and every other aspect of partners along this journey.  For this journey, I can think of no one else I would have wanted to spend this time with.  Ken is my husband, my love, and my soulmate. 

Shots done… and other random news

by eileentroemel, posted in Crochet and crafting, Life, Writing

For the last three weeks I’ve been getting shots of goo in my knees and yesterday was my last shot.  Now I just have to go back for a final check up.  I’ve noticed a decrease of pain in my knees though I still have pain and problems but it is a decided improvement.

Last weekend we went to Vicki’s place in Indiana and Gin and Stephanie came there from Georgia.  My nephew and our friend also joined us so we had seven in Vicki’s apartment.  Considering there were so many we did really well.  The time flew by but I think we all had a good time.  Except maybe Sasha who was not happy that Moo shoo from Georgia (Gin and Steph’s cat) came to visit too.  He was all about love me and she was all about get the hell away from me.  By Monday when they were getting ready to leave she was not having hissy fits every time she saw him.

Circle Magazine has one of my articles in it.  I was pleased to see they printed one after they had contacted me for a few to use.  This is the next thing on my list – get back to writing.  I’m supposed to take it easy this weekend (because of the shots) so I’ll work on the grad gift I still have to make.  However, once this weekend is done I’m going to switch to writing mode.  I, of course, have a to-do list.  There is a grant to write, articles for Circle, a contest, and a few other things I want to work on.

I have vacation to use up so I’ll likely be taking a few days – after my department moves – to have writing time at home ALONE.  I’m very much looking forward to having this time and being very productive.  One thing I have to tackle is cleaning my office.  It is a wreck and I need to handle it – sooner rather than later.

No kids and no pets – it has been nice in the house with just Ken and I.  I have my moments where I miss my kids but mostly, I’m quite content to be without extra people in my house.  Ken and I are figuring out how to deal with each other which is always interesting.  At least there hasn’t been any bloodshed – yet…

Lilacs

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

On one of the more warm days, I drove down Alicia’s road and smelled the ultimate in indicators for spring – Lilacs.  I don’t know what it is but until I get a whiff of the spring air heavily laden with lilacs I don’t feel like it is spring.  I love this flower and plant.  I have three in my yard and one is blossoming.  They are young and growing nicely – no thanks to me. 

Our spring has been a bit funky here in Wisconsin.  We’ve had hot like late summer hot and now we are cool with threats of snow / frost.  I think we are going to have an unusual year for weather.  However, spring has now sprung for me with the scent of lilacs lingering even in the cool spring air. 

I’ve been so busy this semester I’ve not had a lot of time to stop and smell the roses (or lilacs) and now that the semester is winding down I’m starting to look forward to my summer.  This summer I have a pile of books to read.  I want to get back to submitting a lot of my writing.  I also want to work on two manuscripts and see if I can get two others actually published.  My summer is filling up even before it has started.

The two girls in Georgia will probably be coming home this summer.  I am trying to figure out when to take off for their visit.  Of course we don’t have solid dates yet but I’m still looking forward to it.  I want to get Stephanie’s afghan done for her and if at the three quilts I’ve had in the works for a while.  After that for sewing I have a pile of material for Vicki.  She has a bunch of material she wants me to make into work clothes for her.  Along these lines I have the next afghan lined up (and waiting in the living room) as well as yarn for a number of gifts.  I also still have three fleece blankets to get done. 

The question becomes how much of this will get done during this summer?  Hopefully all of it but you never know.  I’m looking forward to taking my vacation time and enjoying my down time.  I’m aware it sounds like I won’t be getting down time but it is for me.

Birthday!!!

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
I woke up to several text and Facebook messages, voicemail, and a cat all wishing me a happy birthday (well okay maybe not the cat).  I walked onto my floor and was blocked from my office because people were in there making mischief.  One of my faculty dropped off a present of my favorite drink, my sister – in cahoots with my daughter – decorated my office with balloons and stuff on my wall and computer screens. 
Through my day I’ve gotten emails from all sorts of people – some I’ve not heard from in a while – wishing me happy birthday and checking in.  People stopped in to my office and wished me the same. 
Once I got home, I answered a ton of emails, worked on homework, and finished crocheting Vicki’s wrap.  Vicki made me a wonderful meal.  Virginia and Stephanie shipped my gift to me so I got a connection with them today too.  Stephanie made me some beautiful place mats that will coordinate well with the new curtains in the kitchen.  I can’t wait to see them on the table.  Virginia made me a hand-made card which I opened and attempted to avoid the glitter.  I loved it.  It is not in my journal as that is where I keep my keepsakes like that. 
On one hand it is a bit odd that all these people are wishing me happy birthday.  I’m not used to so much attention.  On the other hand it is wonderful to hear from them and know that they care enough to send a message.

I didn’t do anything astounding today – just the normal.  I went to work, class, and came home.  Yet I had a great day with all the well wishes.  It is nice to know that people care and are willing to show it.  I’m grateful for all the fun I had today and all the love that was shown today.

Busy Weekend

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

I had a busy weekend planned.  Friday was errand day.  Vicki and I got an earlyish start and went to the Staples, Walmart, bank, mom’s, bookstore (for schoolbooks), two buildings on campus to check out some things, out to lunch, Sorgs, Janesville library, home to dump things, Woodman’s and finally a trip to the Dane County Humane Society. 

By the time we got home I was in pain from all the walking and exhausted.  I’m normally in a pretty steady level of pain so a bit more you wouldn’t think would bother me.  This time though it was really messing with me.  Sasha, Vicki’s new baby, decided to sit on my knee which was really hurting.  She spent a bit of time just laying on there.  Whether it was the warmth from her body or her purring when she hopped off my knee was no longer at an extreme level of pain. 

All right I know that when I have a day as jam packed as my Friday the judicious thing to do is relax the next day and not do much.  Nope, I was super busy yesterday.  We went over to Fort Atkinson to visit a cemetery there.  Both sides of the family are buried there.  So I spent a few hours wishing I’d brought my computer and writing information I’d found.  I will be going back. 

While I’m sitting in the office doing research on the family, Ken, Vicki, Beth, Alicia, Mom, and Jake wandered around the cemetery looking at graves, writing information, and taking pictures.  I was thrilled to find the gravestone of my great, great, great grandfather and mother’s graves.  There were also two of their children listed on the gravestone who’d died as children.  I have a lot of information to work through and some pictures to look at.  A cousin of mine requested information on some of these same ancestors so I’ll be forwarding them to her as well.

After the cemetery we went back to Staples (need more printer cartridges) and got lunch.  Then I hung out with mom showing her some of the things I’d found in doing research.  I also printed out some information for her. 

We talked to the Gin and Stephanie.  Mom, Alicia, Beth, as well as my household got to chat with them.  We think we have our vacation planned out. 

Ken and Vicki have been having problems with their phones so we went to get different ones for them.  After that we went to Mounds to get food for the cat and a few goodies. 

We went to supper with Beth before taking her home.  We tried to pick up some stuff from mom but they weren’t home.  It was home to take more drugs – oh yeah I’d resorted to drugs for the pain by this point – and hit the recliner in the hopes the pain would go away.

Sunday, I swore I wasn’t doing anything.  I was going to work on cleaning my desk and getting ready for school.  So I got up and started on my desk.  I got some stuff done.  I filled out some paperwork and a package all ready to mail, shared breakfast with Vicki and went off to run errands.  We went back to Mounds to get a few more things for Sasha, the grocery store to pick up some stuff we forgot.  Then it was home to make lunch.  After lunch was in the oven made deviled eggs.  Vicki also mixed up her pumpkin spice cake.  We also did prep for lunches this week.  I should be able to grab and go for the week. 

All of that leads to me probably hitting the recliner soon to read while listening to music.  Not sure as I’m sitting here the genealogy and my messy desk are calling to me to work on it.  I don’t think I could cram much more into my weekend.