Tag: family

Sexism

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
Last night an insurance agent came to our house to try to sell us some life insurance.  This agent asked Ken what he did; then turned to me and asked if I was just at home.  The assumption being that as a woman I am helpless and rely on my husband for support.  I was offended and it showed. (Remind me never to play poker.)  I said well no actually I work at the university full time. 
The agent tried to recover and asked about our family.  Of course we told her we have three children and told their ages.  She asked if we had any grandkids.  We said no and not likely to because the girls have all said they don’t want children.  The agent then asked oh are they all boys?  We said no they are girls.  The agent was stunned and asked really girls usually want children.  Why don’t they want children? 
First that was a very personal question.  It is no one’s business but my daughters their reasons behind their decisions.  Second how traditional can the thinking be and as this person is working with the public don’t you think this person should be neutral in these types of areas?
This agent also kept stressing that since I work for the state I have GREAT benefits.  With all that is going on politically and the traditional views this person was expressing I’m sure the agent thought we were made of money. 
My biggest problem with this person, I would expect such sexism from men but this was a woman.  I did not expect such sexist views and attitudes from a woman.  Aside from the money issues, I would not have spent money with this person just because of her attitude.  How disappointing to have such attitudes and assumptions from a working woman.

Post Visit Exhaustion

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

The past four days have been a whirlwind of activities with Virginia and Stephanie flying in on Friday.  Every minute of the last three days (four really if you count the prep time) has been scheduled and executed with almost military precision. 

Friday night we had family time with dinner out and just hanging at home talking before everyone crashed from exhaustion.  Saturday there was my niece’s graduation party that the girls put in an appearance for, plus Virginia’s godson’s birthday party, plus lunch out, plus our own party.  By the time I got to bed on Saturday I was nearly falling down with exhaustion. 

Sunday Ken, Virginia, Stephanie, Beth, Vicki and Alex went to the zoo.  They spent the day away.  I spent my time watching DVR stuff (warming up from sitting in front of the a/c vent) and submitting different writing items.  I got about fourteen items submitted and a few guidelines discarded because my work didn’t fit. 

After dropping off Beth (Alex drove himself) at home, Virginia, Ken and Vicki came home exhausted.  I enjoyed the quiet but would have preferred more time with those visiting.  It is hard because there are so many people they want to see and so many who want to see them.  Stephanie went to visit friends and didn’t get in until after 11.  She was exhausted. 

Today was a bit calmer but not as fun.  Ken and I took Virginia and Stephanie back to the airport.  My house, which was so clean last week, is trashed.  My energy level is about negative fifty and I need a vacation from my vacation…

Tomorrow I go back to work.  I am hoping it won’t be horrendous after being gone for five days.  I hope I can catch up fairly quickly and without too much stress.  It has to be calmer than the last five days, right? 

Slippage

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

How is it possible for an entire week to slip by so quickly?  I can’t even say it slipped by unnoticed but it just whizzed right by and left me gasping and wondering why I didn’t get enough stuff done.

Work was good. I got almost all the things done I wanted to before I left for vacation.  I even got organizational stuff for my desk and got it reorganized.  I left a list for my student workers, changed the voice mail, out of office message and got the tasks done I needed to. 

Yesterday was supposed to be super productive.  We were supposed to get all these errands run – which we did – and the house completely cleaned and a whole list of other things.  My cleaning person got a good chunk of my house clean but still there is more to do.  Why is it housework is so time consuming?

This afternoon the girls fly in.  We have to pick them up.  Then from that point on we are booked.  It will be a very busy weekend and I’m stressing a little about how much is going on. 

Taking a step back from the chaos of the weekend, I cannot wait to see the girls.  It will be nice to have my whole family together.  I just hope we aren’t so busy doing that we actually have time together to laugh and just be. 

Tomorrow is the big party.  Normally big events with lots of people make me nervous but this one isn’t.  I’m just looking forward to being around the people who are important.  I am hoping for good weather so it can be more an outside event than an inside event. 

Ken has gotten so many projects done in the house.  They are bigger projects which we thought would take more time and money but they didn’t.  I really like the changes in the house.  It makes me feel like we are claiming more of the house. 

On one hand I’m really glad that the week has slipped away since I’ll get to see Virginia and Stephanie this afternoon.  On the other hand I’d like another day or two to get ready.  Isn’t that always the case?

Sweet

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
Our family cannot hang on to gifts till the day of the celebration for anything.  There is just no way for them to have patience enough to be able to wait to give a gift.  So Friday when Ken came in and was all secretive and stealthy, I knew something was up. 
Then he comes to the living room and asks Vicki “Should I give it to her now?”  Of course that is a ridiculous question because he was already planning to give it to me.  Our anniversary isn’t until June but he can’t wait that long to give it to me.
He produces a little pink box.  My first reaction was – Pink – really – you had to wrap it in my least favorite color?  Pink wrapping paper and pink bow… I gave him grief over that.  He didn’t wrap it, the store did.  It was beautifully wrapped..
I open it up and it is a jeweler’s box from my favorite jewelry store.  Now I can’t wear a lot of jewelry so I’m excited and a bit apprehensive too.  If it is a necklace I’ll be able to admire it and not wear it.  I open the white box and there is of course another box inside of it.  I open the inner box and there is the most beautiful pearl ring.  It is stunning and amazing.  I love it!!!!
I didn’t know that pearl was the item you were supposed to give for the 30th anniversary.  Ken did know this.  How I haven’t a clue but he got me the PERFECT gift.  I asked Vicki if she told him and she said no.  He gets lots of bonus points for getting the perfect gift.  He is one amazing guy…

Summing up the week

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

It has been an eventful week.  There has been a lot going on in the political arena.  It had the unexpected benefit of creating a family gathering with little arguing and a lot of agreement on the one topic which seems to have unified the family.  Surprisingly this is politics. 

One of my sisters has been going to the protests and she shared her experiences.  I loved the stories about the farmers driving their tractors and manure spreaders – seems very appropriate.  The rest of us just discussed whatever details we had heard and some of our fears.  When a topic negatively affects every member it definitely pulls the family together.

Mom’s 80th birthday was Saturday.  She is as spunky and sassy as ever.  She goes to Curves and the Aquatic center to work out regularly each week.  She volunteers to help out at the church.  She is busier than I am and seems to have more energy. 

All of my siblings were together on Saturday.  We were only missing two brothers-in-law and a lot of grandchildren / great grandchildren.  It was a good gathering.  My aunt came with her two grandsons.  They are very handsome young men.  It is strange how when you don’t see them for a while you lose track of how old they are.  Now these two young men are the same ages as my two younger daughters roughly.  However, when I saw them I was like – wow they got to be handsome adults.  What’s up with that?  I guess I still see them as the little boys that tagged along at the family gatherings. 

It was a busy and full evening with much delight, discussion, and even a scare.  My sister’s mother-in-law stepped wrong and fell down the basement stairs.  She’s about my mom’s age so you can imagine how bad this could be.  Fortunately, she was banged and bruised but had no serious damage.  We are all grateful no lasting damage was done. 

I submitted a poem and an essay to a publication today.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed to see if they get published.  I have to print out the new version of it though because I made some pretty drastic changes. 

For me the best news – I tried another pain killer and I think I may have finally found a replacement.  The first dose went VERY well.  No side affects and pain relief.  So hopefully my search for a new drug has ended.  I will still be careful taking it the next couple of times but if it continues to perform well then I will bid the Darvacet a sad but fond farewell.

Three Days, Three Chapters

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

It was a three day weekend for me.  Normally I would be thrilled to have three days off work but my time off lately has been stressful.  My middle daughter’s birthday was today and we had a good time even though it snowed a lot.  It was supposed to be a full weekend with a lot of stuff going on. 

I didn’t expect to get a lot of writing done this weekend.  However, I got three chapters written.  They are longer chapters but there is no good splitting point.  So I’m leaving them as longer chapters for now.  It’s funny how I’ll finish a chapter and think wow that is good.  When I try to start the next chapter, I decide I need to think on it for a bit.  I go away and do different things like sleep or whatever.

This weekend we saw the King’s Speech – great movie – go see it.  After spending the day on Saturday hanging out with a friend, daughter, and hubby, I was able to finish off a chapter.  It felt good and worked out well.  Sunday I was supposed to meet up with my artist but she couldn’t come out.  I took the time to write and finished off another chapter.  This morning I was supposed to have the morning to myself to write and I sort of did.  I got a good start on my chapter before Vicki and I wandered off on our day.  We had a great day.  It was fun to hang out with her and spoil her a bit. 

After supper tonight, Ken went to bed, Vicki watched her show on TV and I wrote.  I stumbled a bit trying to get the feel for one particular character.  I ended up reading some of my earlier scenes with her.  After I did that I knew how to write what I needed to do.  I finished off another chapter tonight. 

Maybe I’m finding a bit of balance in my life?  I’m not going to hold my breath on that though.  It’s only 11 and I’m headed for bed.  It’s been a better weekend than I expected and now it is time to go back to work. 

Week of Turmoil…

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

It has been an interesting week for me.  I was hoping to get lots of writing and home things done.  I got some writing and some home things done but unfortunately there was also a lot of turmoil….

First I was dealing with our mortgage company who didn’t want to pay out from our escrow account.  I’d contacted them last week and was told everything would be fine and they’d take care of it.  Never trust banks.  I called this week only to be told no it wouldn’t be paid.  I went round and round with customer service people and then asked for a supervisor.  Our taxes are paid – at least a check has been issued to pay them.

My brakes have been making noise so I took my car in to have them looked at.  Now in June I spent 750 on my car to have the back brakes completely redone and the front brakes worked on.  Six months later my front brakes now need a complete overhaul.  I spoke with the manager there too – apparently it is my week for it.  I negotiated with him to give us a $90 discount.  When I got there the cost of the repairs was still over what I’d been told.  I objected and they tried to say they’d given me an estimated cost.  I said if it was going to be more you should have called me.  I would have said no to this additional $45 cost.  Because I complained I got a 10% discount on the entire bill so it was then lower than expected.  Still by the time we were done it was a lovely $550. 

There have been a few family issues this week as well.  In an effort to respect the privacy of those involved, I will just say that there have been some hurtful things going on and I feel as if I’ve born the brunt of these things.  My relationship with my family is often tumultuous.  There are many strong personalities in my family and we don’t always get along.  I’m not blaming anyone.  It just added to an already stressful week.

My writing this week has been sporadic but I’m still making progress.  In my head I have at least two more chapters I want to get down.  Probably there is more or more likely once I get these two chapters out of the way then more will pop in there. 

For now to relieve some of my stress I’m listening to classical music, writing, and withdrawing from everything else.  I’m definitely taking my last three days off for me. 

Christmas…

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

Those who know me, know I don’t enjoy Christmas.  For others it is a great time of celebration and shopping.  For me it is stressful, loathsome, and difficult.  I always feel stressed out about being in such large groups – both shopping and at family gatherings.  I’d much rather meet one on one and have a quiet gathering than to have 20 – 30 people in a small space. 

Over the years I’ve learned to not shop after Thanksgiving.  The stores are crazed and people are insane.  When I go into the stores I feel a greediness so opposite of what the season is supposed to be about.  I watch the other shoppers rush around, grump at their kids, and be stressed out.  I think to myself – why are you doing this? 

Family gatherings are difficult.  It is always chaotic and loud.  There are always so many people around you can barely hear your own thoughts let alone conversation.  This year we went to Ken’s side and it was better.  I spoke with nieces and nephew who I enjoy and have something in common with.  I listened to stories from brothers-in-law.  We had conversations which were fairly pleasant.  I know Ken would have liked to stay longer but I’d had my fill of crowded loud gathering. 

We came home and I napped.  I think I just needed to gather some peaceful energy around me to recuperate from the overload. 

Today we go to my family gathering.  I’m trying to not get stressed out about the whole thing.  I would rather stay home in front of the fire and read all day but I won’t.  I’m sure it will be loud and stressful for me.  I’m hopeful that there will be some good quiet conversations while I’m there.  Only time will tell…

Solstice

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized
The girls are back in Georgia with their 50+ degrees for temperature and much milder weather.  Wisconsin got hit last night with a snow storm which includes snow, rain, and crappy roads.  I look out my window and see cruddy weather.  Yet I’m not discouraged by it.  It is just weather and if we wait a bit, it will change. 
The gray, gloomy day makes me want to curl up in front of the fireplace with my laptop and complete quiet.  I’d love to be working on my story and ignoring the world.  This time of year though the world seems to think we should all gather and celebrate.  The weather seems to be saying hibernate but society demands we gather.
Today is the shortest day of the year.  It is meant to be a time of letting go.  Winter allows the world (at least in the northern regions) to rest from the growing season.  It also allows us to rest.  In our ever moving and constantly busy lives we rarely take time for ourselves.  This is the time of year to do it.  The weather certainly seems to be encouraging us to snuggle in for the duration.
Darkness, physical darkness, dominates this day.  When most people look at darkness they attach a negative label to it.  Darkness to them represents evil.   To me though, darkness represents time to reflect on what is within me.  It is a quiet peaceful time meant to hear that inner voice.  To let those deeper questions surface so they can be examined and maybe an answer found. 
For some people this is the time when they catch up on sleep, snuggle in to do nothing, go skiing or snowboarding.  For me it is a time of reflection on where I am now, where I want to be next year, what I’ve accomplished, what I want to accomplish. 
The older I get the more I appreciate these quiet times, the time to let go of the expectations of others so I can focus on my own expectations.  It may sound selfish but now instead of putting my family’s needs and desires first, I am looking at my own.  It is my turn to be first in my own life and work towards my dreams. 
It’s funny how dreams are.  I know that there are people out there who want to do big things. I don’t necessarily.  I want to tell good stories.  I want my daughters to be happy.  I want to lead a quiet fulfilled life.  Not big dreams but definitely worthwhile…
Happy Solstice…

Life, Laughter, Love

by eileentroemel, posted in Uncategorized

I’m pretty sure I’m stealing this phrase from Stephanie but it very much fits my weekend.  It has been joyful to have all my kids at home.  We’ve enjoyed a lovely weekend being together and enjoying each other’s company. 

Yesterday we had our Christmas celebration and it was great to be together.  We also had an open house and what a reminder of the great friends we have because so many of them stopped in.  There was lots of laughter and conversation. 

Today was more insular.  We just really hung out at home.  We watched movies, played Euchre and other games.  We had meals together.  There was so much laughter and love flowing none of us wanted the day to end.  Nothing spectacular happened today and yet it did because we all just hung out together enjoying being together.  We laughed a lot and enjoyed our time together.  It has been a wonderful weekend.